the hating game ; lrh

forty-four

"What about Luke?" Anna asks, still seeming curious. She has a knowing gleam in her eye, and I'm sure she suspects that something has happened, but I wonder whether she actually knows so. "What ended up happening there?"

I want to tell Anna, I do, but I know exactly how Luke will react. Too many people already know — Michael, Jaden, Nanna Mae. Hell, I'm convinced that even Ashton knows about us, but he hasn't said anything directly to me. Despite Anna being my best friend, and despite how desperately I want to fill her in on everything that's happened between us, I know that I have to wait. I don't want to jeopardise anything between Luke and I again.

"Nothing," I swallow my chunk of sushi, continuing the absolute lie. "We haven't really spoken."

Anna doesn't seem to believe this, but nods nonetheless. "I thought you guys were going to Yale together this weekend?"

Yale — I had forgotten about this weekend's upcoming trip until Anna mentions it. This is going to be a big weekend, not only for Luke and I's relationship, but for my impending college admissions. I have an interview with the Dean booked that has been keeping me awake at night, sick with nerves, for weeks now. I can only pray that it goes well.

"Yeah, we are," I confirm, nodding to myself as I think about the interview. "But that's nothing."

"Really?" Anna leans forward, excitement coming over her features. "You don't think something might happen?"

"I don't think so," I shake my head, now turning to try and revert our attention back to the movie playing before us. I'm not good at keeping secrets, particularly ones of this size, and particularly from Anna. I know that the more she presses me the more like I will be to spill — and I want to spill. I just can't.

"So nothing more has happened between you guys since he kissed you?" Anna pushes further, her gaze in my peripheral vision like a laser-beam probing me for the truth.

My breathing is beginning to quicken and become more shallow, the stakes feeling much higher than before. I feel like I am about to be caught out, and I know that I should just come clean and tell the truth, but I can't. So, I just lie again.

"Nope," I conclude, hoping my voice doesn't sound as unstable as it feels, and shake my head.

Anna watches me for a moment, almost as if I am going to crack in a second, but when I don't she lets out a loud groan and throws her arms up in dismay.

"God, you're a terrible liar, Rory," Anna shakes her head at me in disappointment, calling me out for my lies.

"I'm not lying," I argue weakly — another lie.

"Again!" Anna exclaims, her eyes crazy wide and brows shot up. "You don't have to lie to me — we're best friends in case you've forgotten."

I cast Anna a disapproving glance. "I haven't," I defend myself.

"Are you sure?" She retorts almost instantly, and I know that she has gone into attack mode. There is no saving me now. "Because I've hardly seen you since you and Ashton broke up. You're always sneaking around, acting like you're hiding something. And now you're lying to my face."

I know that the words she is speaking are true, but I cannot bring myself to accept them. Rather, they ignite some sort of fire within me — an anger, almost. Whether at Anna, Luke, or myself — or all three of us — I'm not really sure, but it certainly exists.

"I'm not lying!" I argue again, the lie falling easily and guilt-free from my lips now. "And I'm not hiding anything."

"This is ridiculous," Anna shakes her head, seemingly giving up on me now. She stands up from the bed, slipping on her shoes and jacket and gathering her things.