YOURS

Chapter 23

COLE'S POV

Emily didn't respond to my question. I knew somewhere inside of me that she was okay even if she wasn't showing it.

For the first time I felt in control of myself. I decided to go back to the forest we visited and take pictures for her, drop Emma off at her house instead of beat her for getting on my nerves. If I was my old self, Emma wouldn't have left my car in one piece. And it was all me..no voices in my head, no ghost whispers coming from behind me that made me kiss Emily.

That was me. I was in control.

Why did I do that? I've been studying myself and the strange emotions I get around her. I know normal people get them, I've never had the chance.

I've only experienced rage, sorrow, more rage, more sorrow, and the God awful adrenaline that came with my lifestyle.

I was missing that here.

I was less angry, I felt less sorry for myself. I was letting someone into my mind, letting her hear the voices too.

I let her be alone with her thoughts. I didn't want to admit it but I need the same thing.

Before long there was a knock at the door and the pizza guy showed up. I tipped him nothing and shut the door in his face.

She hates you. I clenched my hands.

Who was that?

I spun around. No one.

No one was here with me.

That was embarrassing. My finger nails began to dig into my palms.

"Shut up!" I said aloud.

I thought you were in control? The whispers continued to mock me.

"I am." I held my breathe.

EMILY'S POV

Cole left the room pretty soon after realizing I wasn't going to give him an answer.

I was okay. I hoped he was too.

It caught me off guard. I wasn't sure how I felt about Cole, not really.

I know he's saved me more than once. From more than just Zac and Alec. From myself and from himself.

All Cole wants is to be normal. Why did he kiss me? I'm the farthest thing from normal. I can't help him there. Why does he protect me knowing that it makes me want to be closer to him? Does he do it on purpose?

"Shut up!" Cole shouted.

My head perked up and eyes shot to the door.

Who was he talking to? I only heard one voice.

"I am." Cole's tone was cold.

I was sure he was talking to himself. What happened?

I walked over to the bedroom door and opened it slowly.

"Cole?" I asked politely.

No response.

I left his room and hurried my way down the short hallway. I saw him standing with his arms holding himself up against the counter.

I cleared my throat to ask his name softly. "Cole?"

Cole stood up straight and removed his hands from the counter. His head slowly turned towards me. His eyes were wide enough for me to the see the light was gone.

What triggered him?

"Cole." I gulped.

He took his first step towards me.

My heart was numb. My head was spinning.

What do I do? What is he going to do?

I thought about the last time he was triggered. He put his hand to my throat and only stopped when I let him do it. He stopped because he realized he was going to kill me.

Was this a stupid idea? To let Cole do what he wanted? On the off chance he'd realize what he's doing?

I didn't have much time to disagree with my first thought. Cole was minimizing the space between us from kitchen to living room.

I backed up startling myself when my body hit a wall.

"Where's the Emily that fights back? Run's away?" Cole huffed.

His voice was not what I got use to. It was the old Cole. Murder Cole. Egotistical Cole. Kidnapper Cole.

"Answer me!" Cole pressed his body against mine  using his hands hold my shoulders in place.

"If I fight back you get what you want. You want a reason to hurt me. If I'm not doing anything...you have no good reason to lay a hand on me. Your brain fills with guilt." I rambled.

"Is that what you think?" His breathe was hot.

"It's what I know. I know you, Cole." He wouldn't look me in the eyes.

"Yeah? So you know what I'm going to do you?" He was smirking.

"Nothing. This is not who you are. Not anymore. I thought you wanted to be normal?" My shaky words reminded him.

With no warning Cole's right arm raised rammed itself right beside my face. I gasped and closed my eyes.

There was now a hole in the wall.

"See." I felt a lump in my throat.

"I'm. so. angry." He said.

"Me. too."

He looked up and into my eyes.

He is broken. There was no putting him back together. His eyes began to clear up from the darkness but full with a glossy shadow.

I leaned my forehead onto his.

"Channel your anger onto something else. Not me. Not you."

"Like what?" Cole breathed out.

"Have you thought about talking to someone?"

He didn't respond. I took that as a no.

"How about taking medication?" Cole back away from me.

"No." He waved me off.

"It doesn't have to be a lot. Just something to help calm you."

"No." Cole held his temples.

I walked back into his bedroom and came back with a small bottle of pills.

"What are you doing?" Cole asked.

"These...are Helen's. She doesn't know I've been stealing them. They are for anxiety, high blood pressure, paranoia. I take them..sometimes. For my nightmares" I looked down.

No one knew this.

"What the hell? Why didn't you tell me?" He ripped the bottle from my hands.

"It's embarrassing. Dr. Bill won't prescribe me anything. Take one. Or don't. I'm just trying to help." I huffed.

I looked over his shoulder seeing that there was pizza waiting on the counter for us to eat. I walked past Cole. His eyes were stuck on the bottle of pills.

"I have to tell you something." Cole put the bottle down to listen to me.

I opened the pizza and smelled the cheesiness. It was delightful, this conversation I was about to have..was not.

"I've been getting texts. I think they're from Zac." I pulled my bat phone from my back pocket and set it in front of Cole so he could read them.

His face said all I needed to know. I should be scared.