poems i can't tell my therapist about

invisible

You tell me to quiet down when i haven't made a sound
Haven't said single word
I cant help but think that i mean so little worth
Im trying to speak just let me say a little thing
About all the times you mistreated me

Im tired of feeling ignored
Im tired fighting for attention
Im tired of being scared if everything you say

When your there in your world
Everything's colored and Im grey
Just focus on me for once
That's all i have to say

When its dark and his home
Im there on my own
Crying all alone

And I know you can hear
When i always shed a tear
Waiting for the shoe to drop
Watch it all just disappear

And i try and i try
Yeah i really really try
But sometimes it gets to tough
Then i really wanna die

Some days it gets so bad and
Im so goddamn miserable
Im using all my stars to wish i was invisible

And he's here and im not
But then suddenly he's gone
You come right back to me
And i feel just like a pawn

So used and abused
But mentally
You've never laid a single hand on me
Not even to hug me
Not even to love me
Man all these depressing feelings just really bug me

And i know that your trying
But listen i am too
So please just listen when i say something to you

This weight and sadness flys right over my bed
It consumes my head
till im nothing more then dead

I've got so much to say
But so little time to say it
So I've gotta say shit
Even though i don't mean it

If it'll get you to see me
To finally see the real me
And not the little screen
Maybe then ill be happy

If i say a single thing
And you straight up ignore me
I swear to you
Ill burn down everything holy

Ill get you to acknowledge and see me
Even if it freaking kills me

Because i swear to you
This is only the beginning

So listen to what im saying
And repeat what your hearing

Maybe after our little fight your head will start clearing.