poems i can't tell my therapist about

i don't know so I'll just go with it

Sometimes i feel as if im never heard
I talk and talk and yet no one listens
Like they don't understand a singular thing i just said

I try to be as annoying as i possibly can
Just so someone can hear me
Just look at me and see me
My opinions and thoughts

No one ever listens and i feel like no one cares
Like the more i try to be heard the more they ignore me

Just for once in my life i want someone to hear me
I want them to hear what i have to say
I want them to acknowledge me

I want to be able to give my opinion without the constant fear of being yelled at or grounded

I don't want to be afraid of speaking up anymore

I don't want to feel like i don't matter anymore

I don't want to feel like my opinion means nothing

Some days i just want to scream at the top of my lungs from the highest mountain

I wonder sometimes if anyone would even notice if i was gone

I feel so worthless

Like an annoying fly that won't leave you alone with there constant buzzing until you kill it

People pass right through me like im not even there

They cut off my sentences as if what they have to say is better then my whole being

Im only convenient when somebody needs me

For once i want somebody to ask me how im doing

For once i just want somebody to hear what i want

I don't know what im supposed to do

I've taken to lying instead of telling the truth more often then not though

I just go along with it

What's the point of making a fuss of things if no one will even look at you

Its fine though

I've long since accepted that no matter what i do ill fall into the back round of my own life

And in those rare times when i do get noticed

And my opinion does get heard

It gets stepped on

Completely and utterly crushed

But maybe its not fine

Im obviously not fine with it if im writing this

But what else can i do

I hate the fighting it cause

I hate the drift it causes

I hate when my heart hurts when they don't listen

So ill lie
Ill pretend its fine
Even though it isn't
Ill just go with it

I want to be heard

I do

I just don't know how