Not His Fan Girl Anymore

Special Chapter

[Note from me: this is kinda a pattern of meaningless. and lately I have been thinking of hurtful things so this came up...this is unedited and you might see mistakes and typos. Apologies in advance. Will edit some of it soon.]

Special Chapter
Gray's POV

It's too late.

I saw it in my own eyes. No matter how fast I could caught up with her. No matter what I do. It's too late.

I was supposed to stay still but I didn't . I moved. I ran as fast as I could. I prayed to ran faster. Fuck! Why can't I ran faster? I shut my eyes as I ran faster, as my legs are burning and they are beginning to hurt.

It was all too late.

I saw it in my own eyes. How she got hit by the car. How the car hit her hips and how her body falls to the ground. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. I felt numb. I couldn't even feel my heart.

Juvia.
Juvia got hit.

My eyes widened. I stood still. I wanted to walk but my legs couldn't move.

I saw her. I saw her got hit. It's my fault. Juvia.

All of her memory starts running in my head. How blue and soft her hair was. How twinkling her blue eyes are when they look at me. Her soft, silky, white skin brushes mine, her soft moans and purr under me. Her laughs. Her giggles. Her warmth...

Juvia.

All I can see now is her body, lying in the cold. Her blood on her forehead. Scrapes on her elbows and knees.

I saw her in my memory. How her eyes are wide and focus when she first visited the guild with Levy. I remember her clapping for us. I remember all her antics around me. I remember her sweet smiles that annoys me.

I...I remember her tears. Her...confession with burst of anger and sadness in her eyes.

I am such a coward.

Her tears, the hurt in her eyes. Her eyes pleading me to stop our deal.

When my parents and Ur died, I felt like I was cursed. All of them died tragically. I don't know why. How could the universe be so selfish? All I ever think about that time is how the world hates me. How am I still alive and be here without those people that I love?

And then, I told myself, I am not to love another person again, I would never have lose them again. And that's what I did.

"What the fuck happened, Gray?" I was looking at the floor, embarrassed. Scared, looking at my hands with Juvia's blood in it. I couldn't answer Gajeel.

I was taken aback when a hand gripped at my shirt then aggressively pushed me by the wall. My back hurts. I coughed.

I saw Gajeel's eyes. "What did you do?"

"Gajeel, stop it. It's not Gray's fault. You know that!" Levy got in between us. Gajeel let go of me and I fall into the ground.

I had no strength to do or to feel anything. I felt weak at that moment. I couldn't do anything. All I can do here is fucking wait.

"Stop it! It was an accident, you moron!" I heard Natsu said.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Lucy. "Why don't you clean your hands first, Gray? The doctor said she would survive. She will recover, Gray. Don't worry."

"Lucy's right, Gray. Juvia is strong. She will be fine." Erza agreed.

I can't do anything but wait. As I washed off my hands with Juvia's blood, I was reminded again how I could not deserve anything in this world.