Not His Fan Girl Anymore

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

I was once a fan of him. I am supporting him for so long. I always watch him from afar. I'm always present whenever he was. I would clap 'til my hands are swollen. I would scream and shout for their band especially his name 'til my voice runs out. I am a fan. An avid fan. I love his passion with music. I love how deeply he loves what he is doing. I loved him. I love him so much I would invest my time, money and everything for him. I was once that girl.

But I realized something. This has to stop. I finally realize I was hurting. Since the day I started loving him, is the day I gave him the right to hurt me. I couldn't care less about it earlier not until now. I am so tired of this. Of crying all night because of the efforts wasted. Of the time wasted. And of the love that has not been reciprocated. Every single of it was tiring. And I had enough. They say that we should fight for what we want, even love. "Fight for your love" they say. But how will I fight if this is just a one-sided love?

So I decided...I will not be his fan girl anymore.

NO. NOT ANYMORE.

She was a fan of me. I am aware of that. I always see her from afar. She was always there. I would always hear her voice. Hear her shouting for us. I've always seen the way she claps her hands like we are some kids that needs to be clap on a school event. She was always there. I clearly know that she loves me. But I keep ignoring. Call me a shit but I ignored her. Thought every piece of it was a joke.

I regretted it. Every single piece of neglecting her. Now, this is the price that I would pay. This is the consequences of my actions. She doesn't want me anymore. And I didn't think that it would hurt me this much. If I could just erase all the pain I've inflicted to her. If I could just kiss all the wounds I've left. If she could just let me, I will.

They say 'you'll never know what you have until it's gone.' But that thought seems like a blur. We actually don't know what to do with those things because we thought that thing wouldn't change or go. But we aren't talking about some things here. We're talking about her. How will I take her back? I want her so badly and I want to make it up to her. Just how...

D82m<7