Boys Don't Cry

Chapter 45

I shake as the building comes in to view, the terrifying building gets closer, and we pull in to the familiar car park. My parents are the first to get out, I stay sitting, stalling for as long as I can. My father opens the trunk and takes out a black duffel bag, and a silver box. My door swings open, interrupting my moment of peace.

"Come on, out you get." My dad pushes, I ignore him, and face in front of me, refusing to move. "Michael, don't make this any harder that it has to be." He urges. My eyes well up as I look at him. He raises an eyebrow and motions for me to get out of the car. Finally, after my last moments of freedom, I climb out of the car and stand next to my parents - ready to enter hell. As Amelia presses the doorbell, I think about what would have happened if I had never left this dump. I'd be dead, or living on the streets. I realise I've taken everything for granted. I've really fucked up this time. Lauren answers and Ben is with her, they welcome us in, showering us with pity. I don't look at them, I don't talk to them, I walk forward, showing no emotion, I'm strong, I don't need anyone. We walk in to the office, and I immediately set my eyes on Katherine, I am not in the mood to deal with her today, or ever again. My parents chat to Lauren and Katherine about my room and the procedures. I'm not allowed my phone, I'm not allowed any visitors, apart from my parents at family therapy or unless it's an emergency and I have to be with an adult 24/7 or in my room. I'll have to go back to classes, and I will still be getting two therapy sessions a week, and one extra on my own. This is not fair, none of this seems fair. Instead of getting upset, I am now angry. After all I've been through and they're dumping me back here.

"Is that alright with you, Michael?" Katherine asks, after she's explained everything. I ignore her, I don't speak to any of them and I don't look at them, I look out the window, and ignore their feeble attempts to involve me. Too late, I was never involved in this decision, I was not considered at all. I'm sixteen, I'm not supposed to be back here. "Michael?" Katherine asks again, they're all looking at me, I can feel their eyes.

"Michael, Katherine is speaking to you." My father scolds, facing me. I ignore him too, getting angrier.

Katherine opens her mouth again. "Michael, I just want to say, we're very sorry for your loss. I understand it's hard, and we're going to do our best to make this as easy as possible for you. We're going to get you clean, and get your life the way it should be." The last sentence gets to me and I get even more angrier.

"How my life should be!? I should be getting ready to have a child!" I shout. "Instead, I've just fucking buried her! Don't tell me how my life should be, because that's up to me." I tell them. They all look at me, shocked.

"I understand you probably want to be alone right now, so why don't we get you settled in to your room?" Lauren suggests, trying to easy the tension. They all stand up and prepare to leave the room, I stay sitting until the very last minute. I walk behind everyone and don't speak, until we reach my new room for the next month. Amelia places the silver box on the bed and my dad sets the bag beside it.

"Why don't your parents help you unpack and then you can say goodbye?" Katherine suggests. I won't have any of it.

"We can say goodbye now. Get out." I spit. Everyone is silent. "I said get out." I repeat. Amelia walks up closer to me and tries to hug and kiss me, i pull away - unamused.

"Don't be like this." My dad pushes, obviously hurt.

"You're the ones that are dumping me back here. Get out." I say, one last time. They all leave, and I follow them, taking hold of the door. "Should have just let me die." I shout, my voice clear. Then I slam the door shut.

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There's a loud knock on the door, and it startles me. It swings open and Ben stands in the doorway, he flashes a quick smile.