HIIIIIIIIIIIII Sorry for not updating!!! I was at my grandparents!!!
WARNING, THERE IS POSSIBLE TRIGGERING AHEAD, SO IF YOU TRIGGER EASILY, I WOULDN'T SUGGEST READING THIS CHAPTER
An hour later, Louis had moved to sit on his windowsill which was only 5 feet away. He felt if he were to stand up for longer than 10 seconds he would faint and possibly die. Louis was staring out the window, where it was currently raining, which is how he felt. He never knew how much one person could mean to him. But it wasn't just "one person", it was Harry. Harry Edward fucking Styles, the person who managed to capture his heart without him realizing it. He felt so pathetic and worthless right now. He wished he hadn't met Harry. He should have gone to the private school a block away. But nooo, he had thought private schools were too stuck up.
Louis wondered what Harry was doing, as shabby and stupid that was, he honestly missed his curly haired boyfriend? fuck buddy? he still didn't know, but that didn't matter. Suddenly a flash of lightning appeared in the sky, and Louis was angry, because, What the actual fuck? He shouldn't be treated this way. He never did anything to Harry, he had no goddamn right to treat Louis like he was his everthing then suddenly drop him like he was nothing to him.
Louis pulled on his hair and groaned. He wished feelings were never invented, or whatever. It was so fucking stupid, and didn't make sense, you could be happy, but be so, so empty inside. Or you could be angry and want to kill someone, but still love them with all your heart, kinda how Louis felt right now. He just felt so...depressed. Louis had always dealt with depression, ever since he was 12 and his mother killed herself. Harry had been his outlet. Which was one of the main reasons why he was so clingy and needy. It wasn't a side that Louis was proud of, but it kept him from harming himself. Now...he didn't have that easy outlet from his depression. He suddenly felt the strong urge to...no he couldnt, he'd been so good about it, hadn't in almost a year. But he had just lost what felt like his world, it seemed like a pretty appropriate time to. He really shouldn't, ever since the last time he did and went to the hospital. But as of right now, he didn't give a fuck, he could go to a hospital and die and he wouldn't care.
He got off his windowsill and headed towards his bathroom. He hesitated for a quick second before opening his cabinet and pulling out a razor. It was now or never he thought. Quietly, he sat on the toilet and pressing the blade against his wrist, and slicing, once, twice, three and four times. Nothing.... he felt nothing. He was numb all over. He watched the blood trickle from the open cuts down to his sweatpants. He cut 5 more times and still felt nothing. Just that supid numbness. Maybe he wasn't pressing hard enough..... He pressed harder and cut right across his vein. He couldn't take all this numbness he was feeling. His mind became fogged and the one thought ran across his mind before he passed out on his bathroom floor "Harder, must....die"
Thanks for reading guys.....Don't know why I wrote this chapter when I trigger easily.... Im stupid..... anyways the songon the side is Remeberng Sunday by All Time Low featuring Juliet Simms. I felt it fit pretty well with this and previous chapters so....
Also thank you for over 4.1k readings!!!!! It means SO MUCH to me!!!!!!! I love you guys!!!!!
xoxo-Ciera
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The Student Teacher (Larry Stylinson)
FanfictionHarry Styles (or as Sky High School refers to him as Mr. Styles) has never questioned his sexuality, even once! but when he gets his new student aid Louis Tomlinson, he isn't too sure about it anymore.
