1945; Love during War

Chapter 42: The New Beginning

Jungkook read the letter again and again. Maybe he was trying to compensate the void in his heart reading the warm words of Jimin but the more he tried, the more he felt defeated and hurt. He knew Jimin was a strong man but he also knew how cruel the war was to him.His death hadn't really come off as a surprise to him. Just like Mrs Park, he knew he was long gone. But with the person he had lost recently, the news of Jimin's death seemed to have deepened the wound. He reread the letter everyday before bed which was stained with his own tears and tonight was no different.

Dear Jungkook,

Maybe I am too hopeful to be writing this letter knowing it has the minimal chances of being delivered to you but hope is all that has kept me going till now. But lately, I can see that crumpling down. It might just be a hunch or a feeling of hopelessness, but I am starting to feel that I don't have much time left. Especially since I don't take their order and shit, I have gotten on their nerves. But you know me well, that is what excites me. There are few things that I want to tell you. As much I would love to tell you this in person, that is too much to ask given my situation. So, in case anything goes wrong and you happen to find my letter, take this as my final farewell.

First of all, I want to apologize for burdening you with the responsibility of Naeun. I know it was a lot to put on your young shoulders but I don't think I could have trusted her with anyone else but you. Mother is getting older everyday and I don't think she can look after Naeun the way you can. Please be the best father you can to her, better than me.

Secondly, there is something I want to tell you Jungkook and please reflect on this seriously. Knowing you for the longest time of my life, I know how kind and selfless you are. Despite losing everything, you have done nothing but given to others. You gave my daughter a father, my mother a son, my club a shoulder to rely on but among all this, you forgot to give your self  even the tiniest fraction of happiness. I know all these people make you happy but I also know your heart longes for a person, who you can rely your shoulder on and sleep peacefully without a worry in the world. When I met Seulgi, I knew I had found that person for me. The way we completed each other's world is something indescribable  in words and god personified that love in the form of our daughter. As much it hurts to know I won't be a part of her life in future, I am glad she is our daughter. Jungkook, I want you to understand that there aren't many instances as such when you meet the person you love and connect to. But there are this magical moments when you meet them, and you realize life was about this all along. You have been selfless not to think about your happiness but I think it's high time you do that. We don't get such miracles often in life but when we do, we need to grab them. I know how you love others with compassion and care and I want you to experience that as well. Tomorrow or soon, I feel you will encounter someone who will make you feel emotions and love you never have and my suggestion is be selfish enough to hold that person and not let go. Life is too uncertain and short too in my case, so when you have the time, follow your heart to take the right decisions. I hope you all the love and happiness in the world. I hope we can become friends in another life too if that exists.

-Yours truly,
Jimin

Reading the letter everyday for the last three months before bed had been a habit to Jungkook. The intensity of pain had certainly decreased but the way his heart longed for the love that Jimin talked about in the letter, that love was long gone. But what was painful was the way things ended. There were occasions when he felt leaving everything behind, catching a train and go to Taehyung to tell him how much he loved him or how he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. But circumstances didn't allow him. Jimin's word echoed in his mind to be a good father to his daughter and even though he longed for his love, he let responsibility take over his conscience like always.