Frank & Gerard One Shots

Christmas special

I hated Christmas shopping. I always have. The people were overcrowding, prices too high, and I was terrible at wrapping. I was also incredibly mad this year especially, Gerard had promised to go shopping with me and he skipped out on me. He said "I have errands to run". What kind of errands?! I'm the one running the errands!

I huffed and grabbed the first set of bags out of the trunk. God I hated having so many family members. Now that Gerard and I were married, it meant double the family for both of us. If Gerard wasn't going to help shop, he was sure as hell going to help wrap and carry in presents.

I balanced the bags as I fumbled with my keys, trying to get it into the lock. When I finally did I nearly dropped a box as I opened the door.

It was dark in the house which was odd. I had expected Gerard to be home by now, his car was in the driveway so why were the damn lights off? I set the bags on the counter and turned, finding the light on the wall. Once I flicked it on, my pupils adjusted and I was able to see the kitchen clearly. It was odd, it was clean. Now that I look around, everywhere was clean.

"Gerard" I called.

No answer.

"Gerard" I called again. I began to walk about the house, looking in the rooms. I swore his car was outside, so where was Gerard? "Gerard, did you do this?" I lightened up a bit. I guess at least Gerard made it up for not coming by cleaning. Sometimes that man just amazed me. I walked into the bedroom and flicked the light on, seeing something I really didn't expect.

"Gerard, what are doing?" I looked up at my husband in a full Santa costume, laying spread out across the bed seductively. A candy cane in between his teeth(and in between the fake beard). The red outfit he had on was baggy on him and his hat looked like it was about to fall off any moment now.

"Looks like someone's been..... naughty" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Gerard if you think we're getting off with you in a Santa outfit you have another thing coming. I'm going to make dinner. I feel like pasta, that cool with you?"

"Yeah. I'll have sexy with a side of pasta. No wait, I said that wrong. I'll have-"

"I had to go Christmas shopping without you. Your not getting any ass"

I stormed out and headed toward the kitchen. Jesus, he was such an asshole sometimes. He can't just ditch me and expect me to join in some kink. I don't even like kinks! He knows that. I once had an exboyfriend with a thing for butter. Let's just say I can't look at Paula Deen the same.

I heard Gerard stand get up and come after me but I paid no attention as I began to pull out the necessary items and slipped on my apron. I had my back turned, completely ignoring him. He needed to know he was in trouble. Having a Gerard Way was like having a dog, and believe me when I say I've had plenty of dogs.

I felt arms wrap around my torso and when I looked down I saw his fingers holding my waist, the red sleeves dangling across his arms.

"Gerard, what are you doing?" I asked for the second time. For gods sake. I'm hungry for food not dick, or Santa dick at that.

"Will my Mrs. Clause make me food?" He asked.

"What makes me the girl?"

"I'm wearing the suit, and your wearing an apron" he pointed out. I looked down at my skeleton apron I had put on. What was wrong with this, it was manly. Aprons aren't even girly in the first place.

"Fine." I sighed and turned my body to face him. He had taken off that awful fake beard, now just in the suit.

"Okay, I figured you wouldn't be up for the Santa thing, but that's why I have a backup plan!" He smiled. Oh great, now what? Was he gonna make me jerk off to Will Ferrel as an elf?