Kaun Hain Tu Mera? - SidNaaz

~THIRTY SIX~

"Mera hogaya tera chehra dekh ke lekin. Itna ungli kyun karta hain tu? Kamina." She scoffed.

"Hojata hain tujhe dekh ke aisa." He laughed.

"Acha hone ke baadh idhar aajau. Baat karni hain. Promise chai nahi phekunga." He said.

"Mujhe kya milega."

"The privilege to talk to me."

"Rakh teri privilege tere paas."

"Acche se baat karunga." He offered.

10 minutes later, they sat on two ends of the couch, him wanted to keep as much distance as he could between them, he yearned for Shehnaz to hold him together while he revisited the bitterness, but she promised him that even if she wasn't with him, after the talk, whenever it would happen, she would. And she would love him back to sanity.

"Bol." She demanded.

"Yeh sab kyun aur kab start hua?" He asked her. She looked at him, slightly taken aback by the direct question.

"Disagreement tha set pe. Scenes ke time pe. Cuts ke baadh." She shrugged.

"Aur kuch nahi tha?" He asked softly, opening up the way for her to speak it out.

"Nahi." She said.

"Toh tu ne mere baarein mein Anitacles kyun chapwaya?" He asked her.

"Kaunsi?" She asked.

"Vanity wali. Phir creatives ke sath misbehaving wali, tere saath aur set ke logonke saath misbehavior wali. Ladte waqt dono equally ladte the Raani. Agar main gaali deta tha, tu bhi deti thi. Tu mujhe dhakka bhi maAnita thi, toh sab kuch mere upar kaise aaya? Vanity wali toh tu ne kiya. Mera naam kaha se aaya?" He asked her monotonously.

"Pata nahi." She mumbled.

"Raani, listen. Yaha se nikalne ke baad main ek bohot bada kadam uthane wala hoon. Bohot zyada. And that decision deserves every honor and every respect I could give. Lekin woh tab tak nahi hoga jab tak I'm cleared out with myself. You have no idea maine apne aap ko kaise bana diya dil tak dil ke baadh. Saans lena mushkil hota tha. Toh speak it out. I need this so that I can move forward. This is the least I deserve after all that I was put through." He said. She looked at him, sensed the gravity of it all.

"Pehele toh, most of the Anitacles mere taraf se nahi, creatives ke taraf se aayi thi. Baatein bhi mere taraf se nahi bani. Haan maine impulse mein aake bohot kaand kiye tere saath lekin Manisha wali baat aur woh sab mere taraf se nahi thi. Woh bas publicity ke liye banwaye gaye the lekin they never published those Anitacles. Mera bas yeh tha ki main sab kuch jaanti thi and I didn't do anything." She shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"We were friends." He said softly.

"Yeah. Lekin ek baat puchu?" She asked.

"Hmm?"

"100 episodes ki party ke baad tu itna indifferent kyun hogaya tha?" The tone in her voice told him that she was back to her cunning self, that she was digging for statements.

"You know why. I didn't want to lead you on." He said.

"Phir itna accha kyun ban raha tha uske pehele?" She dug.

"Accha toh main Jasmine ke saath bhi tha. I didn't think you'd take it that way." He said.

"So there was never anything?"

"No. Never."

"Toh uss din mere paas kyun aaya tha jab main roh rahi thi?"

"Shehnaz ne bheja. I'm sorry Raani. Main nahi jaanta ki tere mann mein itna tha." He said, not really meaning it that much. It wasn't his fault that she looked into things too much and misunderstood him goodness. He, however did feel bad for her.