Really quick, shout to Joasce for working with me on this song. She wrote the chorus and 2 verses please go support her! And she her love! She was a huge help to making this song happen, quickly and efficiently.
Thank you!
Trying to wake up from the nightmare that's my life.
I'm trying to move on from my pain
Trying to wake up, free myself from this
I'm trying to keep on breathing
Joasce -
Some people don't know my real name, it's my decision
But I'm gonna be real here, si guys, here's an introduction
Yeah, hi, my name's Shalom, can you guess what it means?
It's peace in hebrew, yet I never feel it All day, all night, my mind is in turmoil, most days I cry, pain is a spoiler
Can't seem to get away from this darkness
Mum saw my poems, said I'm demon possessed
Said I'm banned from myself, Said I'm getting obssessed
But I can't disagree or why do I feel like this?
My sins, my regrets and the people around me If I'm demon free, why do all this affect me
Let's face this, it's not changing, this is who I'll always be Right, Dusphoria?
Dusphoria-
Oh Hi, right.
This my mind.
My bad, y'all wanna come inside?
Sorry its mess in here, havent cleaned in sometime.
"Its ok Adam, how you been?" Oh I'm fine.
Lately just been thinking about how I wanna die.
"Oh, well, that's not ok, wanna tell me why?"
NO! Sorry that wasnt me talking, it was the other guy.
I know I'm depressed, but happiness is something I'd like to try.
"Adam I didnt know you think like this, you know you dont have to lie?"
NO! Haha, sorry it's just that if I told you well... I
Ya know? Youd say its everything is ok, but we wouldnt see eye to eye.
And I dont like many eyes on me when I start to cry.
You make it seem like Happiness is available for me to buy.
But it's not, and to be honest I'm barely getting by.
Ya know what, it was a bad idea bringing you in here, BYE!
Trying to wake up from the nightmare that's my life.
I'm trying to move on from my pain
Trying to wake up, free myself from this
I'm trying to keep on breathing
Joasce
life, I've been bullied, they call me ugly.
They say I laugh for no reason, I'm a joker, have they met me?
My parents aren't proud of me, I'm a dummy in academics
Want me to be a doctor, but I want me to be a singer
It's my dream, can't they see?
Putting all their lost dreams and hopes on their first daughter
I have a mind of my own,
I'm not a bucket list fulfiller
I trust too easily, that's never done me good
Know what it feels like to feel pain because of you?
Present your heart on a platter, let them mock and laugh at it
Throw it down from its altar and watch as it breaks to pices I try to be nice all the time, to always care
But just because I promised to be always there
Doesn't mean I want to be your lover, just a friend
You chew me up and spit me out, trash I clean myself up and to you,I run back Because I believe too much in the human nature
Where has optimisms, got me, human torture
And you say I should be me,when I cause myself pain
You wonder why I have countless masks, why I'm always in my own domain
(Get the chow-mein!)
All the frustration and the rage I keep it all inside me And only let the tears flow when...
...my hands get covered in ink
Do I wanna be like this?NO!
Did I choose to be like this? NO!
Do I wanna be me?NO!
Do I wanna be real?NO!
But I have to, I swore to, I made an oath of blood And so till I give up, here's my heart, it's yours for good.
'amore.et.shalom'
Dusphoria-
"You're ugly, you monkey"
Ok, first of all.
Everyone reading has
Heard it all.
Shout out all the bullys who have
thrown stones.
I die satisfied while your casket full of broke bones.
Try to put me under scope like a critic.
Then learn how to rap just throw me some disses.
Then say I ain't like gay, to get me hates, I laugh at your predictions.
I just drink tea, sleep, write songs and surpass my limits.
They tell me "You're white so your only heard cause your privileged".
Actually, I'm Mexican. Hi! I guess you just like to deny that I'm gifted.
You wanna know why I'm successful? I exploit you're weakness.
Hi! I'm real... that is my secret. Just admit that I'm genuis.
Let's look at my mind for a second.
Man I was deep in depression.
Making me weak and pathetic.
I thought I needed they blessings.
It leaves an impression.
I feel the infection.
And that's a lethal injection.
I tell them that I am real as they come.
Ask me for my thoughts and you gonna get some.
They ask me how I feel, and I tell em I'm numb.
And dont even get me talking about where I'm from. (CHI-TOWN)
I spent hours looked I'm my room with my demons to write this record.
So dont put here tryna degrade my work, at least I showed effort.
I dont consider myself the GOAT, But I consider myself a shepherd.
And I tell my sheep that they should never think of themselves any lesser.
Trying to wake up from the nightmare that's my life.
I'm trying to move on from my pain
Trying to wake up, free myself from this
I'm trying to keep on breathing
