Emerging

Chapter 11: Jesse Marlon

This song is stuck in my head while I was writing this. Enjoy!

I was an idiot for taking Vincent to Jamal's party. I should've known that he wouldn't have been comfortable in that situation and that some of my friends were ignorant assholes.

I always found myself apologizing to him, and my own idiocy was starting to annoy me. But what was one more apology anyway?

"I'm sorry I took you there, I should've known you wouldn't like it." I nudge the sentence out of my chest after some good awkward silence. I wait a while before I hear him calmly say, "I found it interesting," he failed to elaborate on his statement.

What did he mean? What aspect of that experience did he find interesting? Did this mean he accepted my apology? I wasn't even finished apologizing. I was starting to feel confused and guilty. Hastily I breathe out the second half of my apology, "I'm also sorry for the way that jackass, Marcus, acted he was entirely out of line."

    Thinking back on it he called Vincent cute, I didn't even know Marcus was gay. I was a little irked at his attempt at flirting with Vincent, but since it seemed like Vincent wasn't into him, I let it go. Still feeling guilty I began to think of consolation gifts seeing as I couldn't think of at and we were nearing The Gaylord with each passing moment. I desperately asked, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" And I take a moment to glance his way for the first time since we entered the vehicle, he was noticeably blushing with furrowed eyebrows.

    I heard him take a breath and I wondered if he might have been holding his breath as if anticipating something. We stopped at a red light as he asked barely above a whisper, "How do you know I'm gay?"

   Surprised by his question, I lose my composure and begin to laugh uncontrollably. How could I not know he was gay? I literally saw him putting on chapstick in the bathroom on multiple occasions at work, anytime he saw a remotely attractive male he would run his hand through his hair, and he eye rapes his assistant all the time.

    Ignoring my wheezes and chortles he looks at me hopelessly, before I see him clasp his hands together on his knees while intently staring at them. Once I quiet down he murmurs as the light changes back to green, "Please don't tell anyone especially my mother."

    "Ok, but is she homophobic?" I ask out of concern for the downcast male.

   "She's always looked at gays with disgust and I just can't have her disappointed in me, her approval means too much to me." This is the most he has said to me since the merger, I just wished that this wasn't such a tense moment.  As he continues to tell me about the negatives of being gay in Asia and the trouble he claims he could've caused if the news got out. Still watching the road with caution, I see that there is a horde of unmoving cars on the fastest way to our destination and it's too late to turn around, I pull up behind a white Mazda CX5 blasting The Weeknd.

   Taking this still moment to look carefully at Vincent I notice how tense his posture is, the small barely noticeable mole just under his ear, the torn skin just at the side of his thumb that he constantly picks at when he's thinking. His voice breaks the muffled sound of the Mazda's music, "Please stop staring at me, I don't want nor need your pity." exclaiming nervously his pride.

Turning back to the slow-moving traffic, I grimace at his tone, "I actually think you're really strong for hiding a part of yourself from the world, all for your company."

That seemed to shut Vincent up because the rest of the ride he silently played the game his mom made. And when we finally arrived at The Gaylord, just before Vincent stepped out of the car, I barely heard him say it but he whispered, "Thank you." And he power-walked into the hotel, with me looking after him in disbelief.

I knew one thing in all the confusion I felt in that moment, I wanted to keep doing things for him. I thought he deserved to be given anything he wants.

So...How is it so far? Not too bad I hope. Please give me some feedback.🙏