Dear Ava

Chapter 1

I can't understand why some things have to happen. Why people have to suffer. Right now I see everyone crying, and I can't even describe what I'm feeling. One of the most important people in my life is gone. What have I done to deserve it? Mason would never do that to me. He loves me. Life is so screwed up.

My mind can't concentrate on anything that happened in these past few days. I had to discover my boyfriend committed suicide. That's something that a person would never want to hear.

Today is his funeral. Who knew that I would have to experience this now? When I came into the church, I saw the casket. It was open which means that I will see him for one more time before he gets buried. But that wasn't the point as I already knew that the flashbacks of him would follow me everywhere. I couldn't focus on anything. But, I could hear someone calling.

"I'd like to ask, Mason's girlfriend, Ava Fields, to share a few words...' The priest said, breaking me out of my reverie.

I headed towards the front, the words I was supposed to speak were written on a paper, beneath that, there was the letter Mason had left for me...

"Over the many wonderful days we shared, he became my everything. He made me better. We pushed each other and lifted each other up. I'll never forget all the memories we made together. Let us... Let us remember Mason by the wonderful... By the wonderful life that he... he lived " I said as tears were streaming through my face. I couldn't continue anymore. I was supposed to speak a few words, but all that came out was sobs out of my mouth.

"Sorry I can't continue" I managed to croak out and headed towards my seat again.

I remembered the moment we met. We were in a bar, wasting the night away, and he had approached me.

"Hey, I'm Mason. You're Ava Fields, right?"

"Yes, how do you know my name?" I was amused.

"We have a class together." he gave me a signature smile, and continued in confidence, "So tell me how you find the song that is playing now?" he asked, holding out a hand for me to dance with him.

"Good but not exactly my scene," I smirked back, seeing the smile slightly deter.

'And what is your scene?" He recovered pretty quickly.

"My favorite song is... I could say it's 'Take me back to the night we met''

"Really? I didn't know that about you. But then there are many things that I don't know about you. What about having a date with me, so we will get to know each other." Damn, I had not expected that, but, eh, I could go with the flow if he wanted to.

"Why not? See you Sunday at seven o'clock." He gave me another one of those breathtaking smiles.

After that, we went on many dates and then he had proposed to me. I couldn't imagine my life without him back then, and I can't imagine it now. How was I supposed to keep moving forward, how was I supposed to keep going when I wouldn't see his smile anymore, his twinkling blue eyes? I wasn't going to be able to see him anymore. Tears flooded my eyes once again.

But, I was brought back to my senses, hearing the priest calling Oliver, me and Mason's best friend, the third of our squad, Oliver Smith, to the front. He looked so lost, he didn't speak a word reaching the front, just paid his respects and went back. It must be hard for him to do this, but it would have been so much better if he would have spoken something, that feels like the last goodbye... We haven't even talked, me and Oliver. I'm pretty sure he avoids me, but I don't know why.

"Then, "the priest continued and invited Liam to the front.

Mason was Liam's only friend. Liam Miller was the classic quiet kid in the university that had only one friend. Mason had befriended Liam in the first year, and he always kept him company, he helped him through so much. He wanted to make Liam happy. Suddenly, they could be seen in school always together.

"Mason was my only friend. I could never imagine my life without him. He was a kind person but also a mentor. He made everyone feel good, just after talking to them for a few minutes. He saved me from my demons, so I'm always going to be thanking him for that. Goodbye, my friend." his voice broke a few times, but he continued.

"Ok now everyone, we will be going outside so Mason could be buried," the priest announced.

As I was getting up from my seat, I looked around. There were many of our classmates present. They were looking at me, Oliver and Liam. They were almost coming to talk, but I couldn't hear what they had to say. What were they going to say? What were they going to talk about? Was that going to make any difference? I looked away from their gazes and sat down on my seat once again. When I made eye contact with Oliver, he quickly looked away. I couldn't understand him. Maybe he's really depressed. When I feel better I'm going to talk with him. After all, we both lost Mason.

Breaking me from my trance was a tap on my shoulder,

"Hey, Ava. I'm James Cohen, and I think we should talk."