"How has everyone been?" I asked sitting down on the couch not being able to help myself with the smile that was on my face. It felt good to be home.
Simone, Amy, and Catherine weren't invited only because they decided to keep it small. It wasn't a problem for me only because I wasn't planning on avoiding New York anymore, I would see them soon.
Bridget and Natalie were invited but with the friendship they developed, they didn't think they had a place here. It wasn't a secret Natalie took my spot in Bridget's life. They did all types of things ecstasy, acid, and even tried cocaine. They were adventurous and just because I didn't plan on doing that they distanced themselves before I could distance from them.
Stacey worked with me from time to time with photo shoots, so these were the only people I needed to be with.
"Don't try to jump from the elephant in the room," Lauren sassed with her hand on her hip. "Why did you ignore us?" Shyan and I made small eye contact because although I barley responded to her, I didn't ignore her.
For some reason, she made me more comfortable and I knew that was because Lauren and I were the hardest ones on each other. That's how our friendship worked we loved each other so hard that we came off too real at times. I knew I didn't want to hear "real" then, I didn't want to hear that I was hiding.
"I needed time to clear my mind. I was always trying to take care of everyone else, I needed to be there for myself." I admitted.
"It was, of course, wrong to ignore ya'll but it already happened, all I can say is it won't happen again." I continued.
"You sound like your ex," Lauren chuckled making me cut my eyes at her.
"iT wOnT haPPen AgaIN" Lauren mocked making me realize this was the part about her I didn't miss.
After a while of catching up, I had learned that Lauren was no longer stalking Raymond, who was in an abusive relationship if she asked me she dodged a big bullet. She focused on school at Columbia, with multiple boy toys. Shocking me Shyan and Demetrius were no longer together after an argument they had.
Demetrius had told her that he didn't imagine himself marrying a black girl especially someone darker than me because he didn't want their children to experience the same thing they had to growing up. He told her Hispanic women appealed to him more because they weren't as loud and would create lighter skin babies.
She expressed that, that was the last straw because all though it seemed like they did more loving then arguing, she couldn't be with someone who had that mentality. I agreed, I spoke about this to him before.
I was going to have my chocolate babies no matter what but instead of wanting to have babies and grow the next generation without ignorance he wanted to go the "easy route". I was the last one to give someone relationship advice so I sat and nodded my head.
I felt bad that she reached out multiple times but I never helped, it was a question I had to ask myself now was I just selfish or did I do the right thing.
Karin seemed to be the only one who hadn't changed much, still a weed head but now dating a Caucasian man who's ten years older.
"I missed you," Demetrius spoke flipping the burger licking his lips while taking small glances at me and the food.
"Missed you too." I squinted my eyes in the sun waiting for him to give me what I requested for my plate.
Shyan was so mature that she still invited Demetrius despite their problems. "I just want you to be happy," her words from earlier flew through my head.
"What have you been up to?" The crunch of the sliced cucumbers I chewed on to keep my hunger at a minimum while I waited, was the only thing heard besides the sizzling on the meat on the grill.
"Music been kinda slowing down not gonna lie, I'm tryna figure out what exactly I want as my new sound. Just been chilling with my girl."
"Girl, who?" I rose an eyebrow like Shyan didn't give me the 411 already.
"Her name Joseline, you'll meet her eventually. She cool people." He whispered a little not wanting anyone to overhear thinking it was a secret as he looked back. "Shyan and I just didn't work."
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"I wonder why." I was disappointed to say the least for the reasons but I couldn't change anyone's opinion, especially when ignorance seemed to be taking over their mind.
"Build ya' plate, I'ma go to the bathroom." He excused himself clearing his throat rubbing on his arm where his tattoos took place. Admiring the work a little, his body language told a story that he was uncomfortable as he walked away.
Shrugging I did as told. One plate filled with potato salad, beef ribs since I was allergic to pork, baked macaroni, and cheese with collard greens.
Laying the foam plate down, to get another filled with desserts I knew I wasn't going to want to get back up.
After I ate I just wanted to cuddle with myself and relax, no movements.
"I-" A masculine arm reached over me to obtain a brownie and I furrowed my eyebrows thinking it was Demetrius, stopping my speech I admired the tattoo of the date on the person's arm.
May 3, 2019 was written in cursive in black ink in a big enough font that you could see it a couple feet away, however, it wasn't big enough to fill up the whole inner arm.
May 3, 2019 the day of Prom. The day I walked away and left New York.
Turning around losing my breath Keyshawn smirked at me, plopping a small piece of brownie in his mouth.
My eyes jumped back from his arm and face too many times that I felt myself becoming dizzy.
