IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME ━━ ❝ harry has a secret - he's always had a secret crush on professor snape. when he begins to feel that it is his fault he died and that he wished he would have known his true feelings for him, hermione steps in and tries...
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He wished he could go back.
Go back to the time the person he adored and loved was alive and well. Go back to the time where he actually wanted to confess his true feelings. But he couldn't. It was too late and it was impossible.
Sitting in his leather chair near the fire place at Twelve Grimmauld place, Harry sipped quietly at his Butterbeer in hand and stared at the flames of the fire, dancing slowly across the cold walls and his face. His glasses illuminating, casting long shadows across his features.
Just sitting there, feeling the numbness of forevermore loneliness and the guilt of never telling him anguished his very mind.
He had never told anyone, for this was something he kept deeply to himself. It was a secret he was afraid of and a secret he was ashamed of.
After giving the man so many issues over the years, one would think they despised each other to the ends of the earth, but maybe partially that was true. Although, not from Harry's side.
He felt as if he gave him so many troubles because he had a hard time confessing his true feelings for him and showing them. Everything he knew was right, went totally wrong when in his presence. And now, it was too late to change that.
A true hero.
That's what he was. After carrying so many burdens, wearing so many masks and hiding the deepest of darkest secrets, Harry felt the deepest of remorse for him. All he wanted was love.
That's all. In the end, that's all he wanted. And he later found out that he, himself, was an outlet to love for him. Sure, maybe not for him, as he would never know, but for his mother.
The eyes.
That's all that mattered. To him and to the man who he had admired.
His father truthfully was a prat and he wished there was a way to undo all of his father's wrongdoings towards him. Harry was actually disappointed in his father. His mother too, for leaving real love for a fool like his father. Nothing disgusted him more than knowing that he was always the outcast in life, the loser, and the pathetic weak wizard, when all in all, he wasn't. He was the greatest man ever know. He was brilliant and he was a trustworthy man through and through.
