Shared Pain

Chapter 7

"How was your date, mom?" Emma slammed the door shut and looked at the figure in the hall.

"It wasn't a date, honey and you're not asleep yet?" Emma asked full of disbelief as she glanced at her son who held a book tightly pressed against his chest before he walked to his mother.

Henry shrugged. "Dad said I could stay up as late as I wanted," he said and Emma noticed the hint of a smirk.

"Henry, go upstairs and make yourself ready for bed," she said and pressed her lips against the top of his head.

He nodded curtly and went to the stairs before he walked upstairs. Emma grunted and rubbed her neck before she walked to the living room where she immediately saw Killian, enjoying a nice bottle of rum.

"Dear God, Killian, why isn't Henry in bed yet?" She inquired as the man looked up and left his spot on the couch to greet her.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her, but Emma pulled back. "Killian, I can't do this alone."

"What?"

"Raise the children. I need your help, but you don't seem to care very much."

"What are you talking about?" Killian said and scoffed after he stepped away from Emma. "I love our kids."

Emma sighed softly. "I know that, Killian, and that's important, but that's not all that matters in a childhood. You need to be there for them and you should put them to bed at a decent time. He's got school tomorrow!"

She hoped that everything would be alright, but it was the small things like these that made her feel like their relationship wasn't working.

"Calm down, honey, it's a little late, but he's in bed now, isn't he?"

Him trying to calm Emma, raised even more anger. Every bit of frustration that had been boiled up inside, came just pouring out.

"Calm down? Have you completely lost your mind? The fact that you don't understand that it's not just about now actually hurts me, Killian. Especially after this morning. Eva had fallen and now she's got a concussion and you didn't even glance at her. You immediately ran off to work, because you couldn't be late. I've jeopardized my job several times, because I had to handle everything alone in the morning."

Killian moved his index finger to her lip and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He shushed and for a second Emma looked bewildered at his actions, before she stepped back and looked full disbelief at the man.

"It's alright, honey," he whispered, but Emma balled her fists and dug her fingernails in the palm of her hand, knowing that that was going to leave a mark.

"It's not alright, Killian," she snapped. "Don't you understand? You can't just sit here thinking I'll clean up all the mess, because I can't. I have a job too, a job that's just as important to me as yours is to you, but I make sacrifices too for this family. I'm willing to give up everything to make sure everyone's alright and to see how little effort you put in..." She sighed and tears escaped her eyes. "I can't handle it anymore, Killian."

The man wrapped his arms around her and even though she wanted to be embraced by someone, she didn't want that someone to be Killian.

She sobbed and wiped away her tears before she pulled back. Emma cocked her head to see if Killian had anything to say, but the man kept quiet.

"I need you to say something," Emma whispered desperately and sniffed.

Killian collapsed on the couch and took a sip of his rum. Emma sat opposite him in a chair and her nose scrunched up at the smell of the strong liquid.

"Emma, this family.." he started and suddenly he looked as if he was but a five year old boy. "It's too hard."

Emma cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"It's not how I imagined it would be. I love the kids, but I can't handle them. I can't raise the children, it's too hard," he said, but Emma grabbed his hand.

"That's why I want to do this together, Kil. I want you to try again for at least a month and if you still think you can't handle it, then.." Emma inhaled deeply, "then I think we have to file for a divorce, but we gotta try, Killian. We've been together for ten years, this can't just be it."

She inhaled deeply and blinked a few tears away. "But there's more than the kids, isn't there?"

Killian looked guilty and her and patted the empty spot on the couch beside him. Emma stood up and sat down next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and felt a tear rolling down her cheek.

"We're going to try either way, Ems. I know I've been horrible these past months and I really wish I hadn't. There's just something.."

"What?"

"I don't know, I just.. the spark between us.. it's not as big as it used to be and I don't know why that is, but I don't think it's a good sign."

Emma nodded agreed and put her hand on Killian's chest. "We're going to start over again," she said determined and Killian kissed her temple.

"Together," the man added and Emma looked up to see him smiling.

"Together," she confirmed and for the first time in long, she actually had hope for their relationship.

~~~~

Emma woke up satisfied the next morning. Killian and she were cuddling close, naked, which they hadn't done in a long time either. Sex was part of starting over properly.

Killian opened his eyes and kissed Emma's lips softly. "We're earlier than the alarm clock," he said and as he said the word Emma briefly looked at it.

They had a solid thirty before they had to wake up the kids, but as they were so late the previous morning, she wanted to wake them up earlier today.

"Yes, that's right," Emma replied with a soft chuckle and stroke his bare chest. "We'll leave Eva asleep, I want to keep her home for at least one more day."

Killian nodded agreed. "Let's wake them up, shall we? Then we can have a proper family breakfast," he said with genuine excitement.

Emma smiled and her heart fluttered by the thought of a family breakfast.

She got out of bed and started dressing up when she felt two warm hands on her waist. She turned her head and kissed Killian with a giggle.

"Not now, Kil, we gotta wake up the kids," she said and the man pouted.

"I can't believe we hadn't done that in so long," he said as his hands traveled lower.

Emma put her hands on Killian's and moved them away. "Not now," she sternly said and started dressing up.

Killian nodded curtly and started dressing up as well.

Together they woke up their kids, who were pleasantly surprised to see their father and got up much quicker than usual to get ready for breakfast.

Even Eva woke up. She and Lola shared a room and her parents had tried to be as quiet as possible, but she'd woken up anyway and didn't want to miss this family breakfast.

Emma was happy. She was genuinely happy to see her family setting the table together, yet there was this feeling in her stomach that she just couldn't shake.

A feeling that told her this was all just an illusion and would go away soon.

But for now she'd try to enjoy it as well as she could.