An Impossible Love [l.t au]

57.

a/n: found this in my drafts and thought u guys deserved it for being so nice and supportive <3 I never published it cause I never liked it but...oh well I guess. this whole book is trash so LMFAO.

My heart races as I spot him in the crowd behind the curtains. My hands feel clammy, and I feel my throat close up a bit despite the fresh outdoor air around us.

"Froggy, are you okay?" Parker asks from behind me. I turn around him and meet him with a deep frown. "Woah, clearly not!" 

I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair. "Parker, I'm fine. How's everyone in the class doing? Are you guys sure you're all prepared? Is anybody nervous? Is anybody nauseous? You know, maybe I should go grab a bucket just in case-" 

"Alex!" Elizabeth grabs my shoulder and I jump. "Oh honey...you'll be okay. You have to trust me on this, okay?" 

I nod and rub my hands together. "They're on in less than a minute." 

I notice Elizabeth shoot a nervous smile and sigh quietly to herself. I raise an eyebrow at the suspicious actions. There's no reason for Lizzie to be nervous. If anything, she should be excited for this play. She's not one to get stage fright. "Lizzie, what's wrong?" 

She looks at me with wide eyes. I shake my head at her, telling her to go on. "Alex, Rachel's here." 

"Oh boy," I let out under my breath anxiously. 

"But listen, no stress okay? No stress." 

"Why are you stressing?!" I exclaim. 

"I don't know I'm-" 

A lady holding a clipboard with a headset around her neck comes out from the other side of the door. "Ladies, you're on in 15," 

Elizabeth and I both give her a thumbs up with exaggerated smiles. There was no time to be nervous anymore. Swallowing my worries, I nod at Lizzie and decide it's best to go with the flow. Whatever happens, happens, right?

"Okay, listen up kids!" I clap my hands to grab the children's attention. "I know you're all going to do great, so I don't want anyone worried or scared. Get into your positions, you're on in 5!" 

The kids all scramble to their positions and hold still while the MC announces their act. I feel Lizzie grab my hand and I squeeze hers back for reassurance. 

Parker walks onto the stage as the kids behind him start the rhythmic clapping as rehearsed.

"Hey you guys, put your hands up in the air! Cause I'm going to tell you a story," Parker starts. "A story about..." 

And there it goes. My story unfolds. From how I first fell in love with Louis, to how I would wait for him to get to school at the start of every day, to how he would be the only person I would dream about, and to how I saved his life. How I was his angel. 

Parker climbs up on the carboard bridge, imitating the night that Louis climbed up on the bridge foolishly. As Parker falls onto the soft bed, from across the stage, the little girl from across the stage pretends to dive into the water to save her prince from the mean knights who pushed him in. 

Well, of course, I had to make this kid-friendly. 

I look back to the audience and find Louis again. At first, he seems uninterested and almost dazed out. But then I notice his face tense up. 

I know he isn't dumb. I know he's smart enough to take hints. But I really was half expecting for him to not understand this analogy. 

I see Louis stand up as the play finishes and receives grand approbation. Knowing he's about to walk out, I look at Elizabeth. 

"He's mad," I say. "He's-he's upset. He didn't like it. I don't know what to do." 

She furrows her eyebrows. "Why is Rachel following him?" 

My heart sinks. "I-I...I don't know." I lick my lips and rub my hands on my face. "Lizzie, I need to go." 

"Alex-" 

"I'll meet you in the classroom," I cut her off and walk out the theatre dressing room. 

I walk out with my stomach feeling uneasy, and my heart racing a hundred miles a minute. Nothing makes sense to me. Does Louis understand now that it was me who saved him? What does he think of it? Why did Rachel follow him out of there? Is he cheating on me? 

Can he even be cheating on me? 

At this moment, I don't know why I ever thought it would be a good idea to tell Louis. He's obviously upset. 

I walk towards the water fountain to satisfy my parched mouth and drink as much as I can take in. 

And then I hear them. 

"Louis, please talk to me," Rachel calls out in a distance. "We need to work this out. What the hell is going on with you?!" 

"Get this clear, Rachel," I hear Louis snarl back. "You and I were only for show. There was nothing real between us, and I've asked you to leave me alone an ungodly amount of times-" 

"You're leaving me for a liar like Alex!" Rachel scoffs. "This is what it is, isn't it?" 

I hear them go silent for a bit. 

"That isn't any of your business." 

"Louis, we saw you with her. All of us, you're ditching all of us for someone like her!" 

"Stop!" Louis raises his voice. I didn't realize that the voices had gotten closer because as I hear Louis stop talking, I realize they can see me. "Alex?" 

I had also forgotten that I had been drinking water this whole time. With a jump, I step back from the fountain and begin coughing up the water that had just entered my airways. 

Rachel points at me in surprise. "Were you following us?" 

I shake my head the best I can before I manage to calm down. "I-I wasn't following you," I say shakily as if I'm about to enter another coughing fit any moment. "I didn't even know you were here! I was just getting water, I didn't hear anything I swear-"

Louis looks straight at me, and I can feel the emotions raging in his aura. "Alex." He says sternly. 

I look down and stay quiet, breathing heavily through my mouth. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He says lowly. 

I still remain silent. I feel like my world is crashing down on me.

He steps closer. "Answer me, Alex!" 

I look up and meet his eyes. They're teary and it takes me by surprise. How am I supposed to explain to him that I could never tell him because I know exactly what he would say? 

He would be confused. He would be concerned. He would be overwhelmed with so many emotions knowing that I was his angel. It would be way too weird for him. It would be weird for both of us... 

I wasn't even meant to be there that night. I was meant to be home watching a show on TV, or reading lame teen fiction. I wasn't supposed to be spying on him like the creep I am. 

Rachel looks between us and I know she hasn't connected the dots yet, luckily. She looks confused and scared. She even looks a little guilty, but for what I don't know. 

"I'm sorry," I manage to breathe out. I can feel my fists by my side shake a little. 

"You couldn't tell me you saved my life?" His voice cracks. "I opened up to you about that night, Alex!" 

"I know," I whimper out. 

With one final sad look, he walks out the nearest exit leaving me and Rachel alone. 

a/n: sooo....HOW'S EVERYONE BEEN THE LAST 2 YEARS?! LMFAOOO