Collection of Oddities

The PTA Meeting: Linda vs. Homicide

Summary: Sequel to "Get Off My Lawn!" and "How To (Attempt To) Socialize Your Glitch"; After brings Homicide to the PTA meeting, and is pleased by the results. 

(Warning: Dark comments made by Homicide.)

The sun held its' position high in the sky, beaming down light onto the school below. The building was quite lively on this day. Monsters and humans bustled in the many rooms and hallways; Yet others had quietened, prepared for the upcoming PTA meeting. A particular set of skeleton monsters sat in one of these rooms. 

"Brother... Are you certain this is a good idea?" Papyrus asked, warily glancing toward Homicide, who had a plate of double chocolate chip cookies in hand. "And why did you bride him with so many cookies? He'll spoil his appetite! Not to mention, miss out on the Great Papyrus' divine culinary skills!" 

A devious smirk spread across After's face. "Yeah, I'm sure- This may even be my greatest idea yet." 

"I wish you would put this much effort into your job. Why torment Linda of all people? She is a perfectly respectable human!" The orange-scarfed skeleton huffed, giving his brother a pointed look. 

"Let's just say I don't appreciate her trying to parent Frisk."

Homicide was minding his own business (eating cookies) when a blonde woman with the fakest looking everything - hair, nails, face, eyes, et cetera - approached him. She expression morphed into a mix between a sickeningly sweet smile and a sneer. "Ah, you are the missing brother I have heard so much about. My name is Linda, the school board director, and that over there is my son," She directed his attention toward the equally faux looking child. "Jimmy."

Homicide snorted and rolled his eyelights. "That abomination is yours? Ha! It is the ugliest thing I've ever laid eyes on, and I've seen burning taco covered in soy sauce, snails, and sequins. Where did you get it? A garbage heap?"

Linda sputtered at the comment, trying to think of a comeback.

"Oh, and look at that! It has the exact amount of brain cells you expect it to have." He gestured to the child shoving crayons in their mouth. "Probably going to grow up to spread frozen butter on toast. Or, better yet, die at a pitifully young age because it can't keep a fork out of an electrical socket! Would certainly save me the trouble of putting it out of its misery." 

The mother of said child looked aghast; Her face sheet white, wide eyes staring at Homicide in shock. 

"Don't forget to invite me to the funeral, Lindie. I wouldn't miss that party for anything. In fact, I may even bring a plus-one. Got a friend who knows how to have a deathly good time at parties." He chuckled darkly before walking over to his own abomination, Frisk.

"This was a great decision." After whispered, gazing at the pure gold his phone recorded. "I'm gonna bring him back next month. Hellen will 'love' him."