Textrovert

"Great comeback."

[Monday, May 25, 2020]

Incoming call from Mother ducker

"Hey."

"Sup weirdo."

"Hey Keith? Did you by any chance call me last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm getting flashbacks but I'm not really sure it happened... I was gonna check the call history but I forgot. Did you really wake me up in the middle of the night?"

"Hmm...but it doesn't seem like something I would do."

"You know what? Forget it I know you did."

"Iris. Did you dream about me? Oh wow I'm so flattered."

"Nice try. But I know it wasn't a dream."

"You said you weren't sure if I called you or not. And I'm telling you I did not call anybody last night. Do you really think I'd call you at 2 AM, I'm not that crazy."

"R-really?"

"Yup. You dreamt about me. See I always knew you liked m-"

"Wait. How did you know the time then? I'm sure I didn't mention that."

"..."

"Busted! You almost got me though, great job."

"Oh man I was gonna have so much fun hearing you stutter."

"I- I wasn't gonna stutter."

"You were already stuttering and I didn't even get started teasing you."

"..."

"Any who, are you at work?"

"I just got home for lunch. What about you?"

"Waiting for Jake. So...did you think about my offer? Time is running out."

"Ugh, that."

"Yes that."

"Well...I guess it wouldn't hurt to rant about things once in a while...fine I accept. But promise to let me know when it gets boring for you and I'll stop, okay?"

"I promise. Great, as of now my services are available. You're welcome to talk to me about any life questions you may have."

"Let's not push it."

"I'm wiser than I sound. Don't underestimate me."

"We'll see about that. Now let's talk about that price you mentioned the other day."

"Oh, that. You'll find out soon."

"Keith."

"I promise it's not something outrageous or anything."

"Oh what a relief."

"Sarcasm?"

"Whatdya think, genius?"

"I just told you what I think, smartass."

"Huh."

"Great comeback."

"..."

"Yayy I just made you laugh."

"You didn't."

"Oh really?"

"Yup. I was watching a sit com."

"Huh. Okay then prove it, increase the volume so I can hear it too."

"Oh, sure...wait a sec."

"..."

"..."

"Are you still there?"

"Yeah I'm just walking to the TV."

"How many miles are there between your couch and the TV? Is your living room the size of a football field?"

"Ha ha."

"Are you there yet?"

"Yup here I am. Oops it's commercial time."

"..."

"What's so funny."

"Oh man...you're something else, Iris."

"Uh...thanks?"

"Anyway, what're you up to?"

"The usual. I was reading some documents... you know, work related. I don't have to work on it right away but I can't just wait until the last minute. Who knows what could go wrong."

"I see you're one of those people."

"What kind of people?"

"The ones who's life motto is 'better safe than sorry'."

"I guess you can say that."

"I like it."

"But you can't relate."

"Yeah. I don't mind taking risks. We only live once."

"Exactly. We only live once."

"Okay smartass, I guess the saying works in both ways. Jake's here. Gotta go. I'll call you later."

"Okay bye. But know I won't pick up if its anytime near midnight."

"Yeah yeah sure. Bye weirdo."

Call ended