Textrovert

"Okay then. Let's make a deal."

[Wednesday, May 20 ,2020]

Incoming call from Mother ducker

"You need to stop sending those texts after I hang up on you."

"Um, good evening to you too."

"I'm serious. You need to stop."

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"Because... you add the word weirdo afterwards and also send that XO."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Wanna know why?"

"Sure."

"I sent you compliments-- which were genuine by the way, and all you focused on was on the meaningless things I added afterwards."

"..."

"Do you get my point? You do agree on how ridiculous that is, don't you?"

"Well..."

"Yup. Thank you for understa-"

"Keith."

"What."

"The truth is, it's not what you added afterwards that bothered me. It's the compliments."

"..."

"..."

"What? Why...why would that bother you?"

"I don't know... I just-- forget it. How was your day?"

"Nah-uh you can't just change the subj--"

"It just makes me feel...uncomfortable, okay? That's it."

"Compliments make you uncomfortable? Is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then. Let's make a deal."

"I don't think I'm gonna like this."

"Hear me out first."

"Fine..."

"Every time you hang up on me, I'll send you a compliment. A genuine one."

"Every time?"

"Every time."

"But...you'll run out of them soon. Like soon soon. What happens then?"

"See I don't think that's gonna happen."

"Why, because I won't hang up on you?"

"No silly, because I won't run out of compliments."

"..."

"So if you don't want me to, then don't hang up on me. Easy right?"

"..."

"Did you just scoff? I'm offended."

"Come on you gotta admit it's pretty hard not to hang up on you. You're kinda annoying don't you agree?"

"Just kinda annoying? Not a lot? I can live with that, I guess. So do we have a deal?"

"Fine, deal."

"..."

"I heard that."

"Heard what?"

"Your evil laugh. I heard it loud and clear."

"Oops."

"So you're gonna be extra annoying to get me to hang up on you?"

"Pfft oh please. It's not like I'm desperate to shower you with compliments or anything. After all, I might-- and I quote "run out of them soon soon" so I don't want you to hang up on me either."

"Yesterday you blamed me of making the worst impression you've ever heard. But what the hell was that? I don't sound like that!"

"Oh you do. Trust me that's exactly how you sound."

"You made a British accent for God's sake. And I'm not British, as far as I know."

"Wha-- I did not make a British accent."

"You did."

"I didn't."

"You really did."

"..."

"Huh. You just gave up. Oh victory is so sweet."

"Nah I just got distracted by my cat who's sleeping in the other room."

"..."

"..."

"You're never gonna let me live that down are you?"

"You kidding me? Of course not. I'll never let you forget that one."

"I don't blame you."

"I'm glad we're on the same page."

"Page? We're not even in the same library!"

"Oh please we both know that you were obviously trying to hide the fact that you remembered what I texted you word by word--"

"Where's Jake?"

"..."

"Stop laughing and tell me. Or I'll hang-- oh shoot I forgot about our deal."

"Yup. There's no escaping me until I allow it."

"Wait, I have a question. Our conversation ends only when you say so? That's ridiculous!"

"Nope, you can end it whenever you want, but no hanging up on me."

"How is that any different?"

"You can hang up after saying bye. That's the difference."

"Oh. Okay then. Bye."

Call ended

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You're really cute weirdo XO

Received : 09:02 pm