Textrovert

"Fine. He's one lucky guy."

[Thursday, May 21, 2020]

Incoming call from Mother ducker

"You broke our deal last night."

"I can't get used to this."

"What?"

"You jumping to your point without greeting."

"Are we gonna have this talk again? About how unnecessary that stuff is?"

"A simple 'hi' or 'I missed you Keith' would be nice to hear."

"I don't wanna waste my breath."

"Touché. But it breaks my heart that you think it would be a waste of breath."

"A+ for your efforts on trying to change the subject but it's not working."

"Change the subject? Oh, about our rule? You were the one who broke it, weirdo."

"I did not. You said I could hang up after saying bye. And that's what I did. But you still sent the damn text anyway!"

"Nope, you got it wrong. When I said you could hang up after saying bye, I meant both of us saying bye to each other."

"Ugh."

"Yup."

"Fine."

"So, are you free right now? Do you have time for a date?"

"Wha- wha- what do you mea-"

"Wha- wha- what I mean is, let's get to know each other like we're on a date, but on the phone."

"Huh?"

"It's pretty clear isn't it? Let's talk about ourselves, ask each other questions bla bla bla..."

"Huh."

"Can you please say something other than 'Huh'?

"Uh-huh."

"..."

"Okay okay sorry. Uh...about the date thing--"

"You know what? Think of it this way. We're two friends hanging out. Over the phone."

"Huh."

"..."

"I mean okay, sure..."

"Okay let's ask each other questions. I go first."

"Why? That's not fair."

"Excuse me? Oh you're the last person on earth to talk about fairness. You made me type a long ass text about myself and then left me on read, remember?"