Ever since, New York [h.s] AU

53 || YOU'RE PREGNANT!

Harry and I were about to kiss. Willingly. Maybe it was the span of the moment, maybe he still had that adrenaline rush he always talks about when he performs for thousands of people and maybe the fear and anxiety I got from running into the car to hide from the paparazzi meshed into a full on adrenaline rush—that we were willingly about to kiss.

I was glad Ben called, but also disappointed and annoyed. Part of me wished to know what would happen next if it went further, to feel his lips on mine—to actually feel him close.

But that didn't happen and Harry dropped me off at my apartment. It wasn't awkward, it was just a silence that was filled with regret. Regret of not having time for ourselves, every time we get close something has to always happen.

He looked sad almost, his eyes gave that away and his forced smile only added onto his sad aura. He was tired, of what exactly I wasn't sure.

As I sat pulling at the strings of my sweats, my mum came back into the living room with a cup of tea. The weather outside was colder than any other and I came to my mothers house for our usual talk and tea.

"You've been very quiet," my mum points out. My arm was rested on the couch's arm and I propped my cheek on the palm of my hand. When I look up, she's already staring at me, silently asking what was wrong.

I sigh. "I'm conflicted." I say. My mind has been clouded with thoughts of Harry and I since that trip to New York and I haven't been able to rest since then. Sure, I've learned to live with it but now, it's like a wave of it all is just coming back stronger than it did before and I don't know what to do with myself.

"Do tell." She says as she takes a careful sip of her tea. My finger lines the brim of the cup, nervously. I didn't want to fully tell my mother that I might have some mixed feelings, if not full on have them about my childhood best friend.

Come to think of it, if it wasn't for my mum being school best friends with Anne, they wouldn't have forced Harry and I to be friends. So really, they were part of the problem.

I bite the inside of my cheek. There I go, blaming everyone else but myself. "Dear, God." She gasps making me look up to see her wide eyed expression as she stared at me in shock. "You're pregnant!"

My jaw immediately drops and my eyebrows mash together in a confused gesture. "What!" I say, cowering away whilst pressing the pillow to my stomach. "No!"

She seems to visibly calm herself down. "For goodness sakes, Katherine. You've gained a bit of weight, you nearly gave me a fright."

"Okay, I'm going to try to ignore your comment," I say, looking past it. "I've been stress eating, alright?" She tuts and shakes her head. "I'm not sure how to say this... how do you make feelings for someone just go away?"

At this, she chuckles and sets her cup down. "Why would you want to make something as beautiful as love to go away?" She furrows her eyebrows in confusion.

"Because I'm not sure I want it to be there." I say. I wasn't saying I love Harry, but my mind has manipulated me into thinking that it could be a potential possibility, ever since Harry drunkenly told me that I don't love him like he loves me.

Something must've snapped in me, something like a gate that lead to catching feelings for Harry. Like a over time, the chains guarding it kept longing to break free and from that comment, all hell just broke loose and now it was open for access.

"Is this about Ben?" She says making my attention go back to her. She waits for my answer.

"No," I look away shamefully. I knew she liked Ben, so saying this would crush her hopes of him and I being happy together. "It's someone else." I say.

She nods, not one ounce of judgement on her face which is why I always choose to talk to my mum about these things. "Well," she sighs. "Falling in love has got to be one of the best luxuries you can ever have. When you're in love, you feel at the top of the world. You feel like you can accomplish anything, and with the right person you can." She says and I listen. "When you have love, you want everyone to know it. But when you try to hide them, that isn't doing you any good." She chuckles.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"The odds have a way of never working in your favor when it comes to love. The more you hide your feelings for someone," she smiles. "The more you will fall in love with them."

She was right, of course I don't think there was ever a time where my mother was wrong. Even my dad always said my mum was right, even if she wasn't.

"Can I tell you something else?" She says and I nod. "The best relationships that last, are frequently the ones that rooted from friendship. One day you look at the person differently than you did the night before. You see something more there, something that you want but think that you can't have. And now the person who was just a friend, is suddenly someone you can no longer live without."

I had a feeling my mum just knew who I was talking about, and she was rooting for it all along.