IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME. <NOT EDITED>

Chapter Sixteen-honesty

I anxiously walk into the dark house and I'm welcomed with a heavy smell of alcohol.

This man has been drinking whilst I've been depressed? Isn't that just amazing?

I just wonder where Nathi could be right now, because I saw his car parked outside the garage door.

I already know my way through the house, so I make my way gradually to the kitchen and switch the lights on. I immediatly go in shock when I glance at this unfamiliar dirty kitchen that's currently replaced with dirty dishes that are piled up in the sink with empty bottles of vodka and whiskey

Nathi is a clean freak, this is so unlike him.

I huff in frustration and I drop the plastic bags on the dirty floor.

He's instantly behind me, I feel his heavy presence, and I can hear his breathing.

I don't turn around, I remain still.

"Busi," he breaks the silence, "I miss you," he utters with his husky voice.

I miss him too but I'm not yet ready to say it out loud. I'm still furious with him but my emotions slightly want to act against me.

I won't give in.

"Please look at me sthandwa," I flinch when his cold hands make contact with my shoulders.

"I'm Sorry," he says lowly.

I debate with myself on whether to turn around or not because once I do turn around, I know I'll willingly fail on actually staying mad at him

I finally turn around anyway and god does he look so horrible. I gradually scan him and his eyes are blood shot red, hair horribly grown and dirty and damn does he small like alcohol.

Why the hell is he only in his boxers when its flipping cold?

I suddenly feel bad for him and the need to caress every inch of him entrupt me voluntarily.

I glare at him and guilt is pretty much vivid.

He still loves his ex Busi, pull yourself together, he doesn't deserve your good heart right now. My inner voice echos in my mind.

"I'm sorry Busi, let me...." I cut him short.

"Why?" I grimly utter.

He knows what I'm referring to. And talking about it will only make me feel hurt and angry all over again.

Calm is my middle name right now and I intend to act by it.

He hesitates a bit but I got no time for crap.

"And don't even think about lying, beacuse I swear I'll leave your ass if you do," I boldly state and he looks surprised.

"Honey, look, it's not what you think." He steps forward and I bang the kitchen counter hard with my fist and he appears to be startled but his face remains sternly straight.

He basically shouldn't play games with me, don't they all say the damn same thing when their caught or guilty.

"You still love her Nathi," I yell accusingly.

"No I don't," he boldly mutters with a straight face.

His pressing my buttons.

"Then why the hell did you fight for her, huh," I defeatedly question.

I swear if this man that's standing right in front of doesn't speak, only God knows what I might do.

"If you'd shut up for a second and let me speak, we'd be finally done with this conversation already," his face cold as ice.

Oh no he didn't.

Did he just flipping yell at me? Whlist he's in the wrong.

The audacity.

"Please just listen to me, Sthandwa," he pleads.

I sit on the high island chairs and coldly stare at him with a straight face.

"Talk," I demand.

He sighs heavily, "Look, I loved her okay, deeply," he begins and his confession cuts me deeply.

Then why the hell am I here? What's he still doing with me?

He continues,"I was ready to settle down with her but instead she went behind my back. Kgosi and I were business partners and friends, but as you know their both dating. They both went behind my back, I was torn, but I'm a man after all. So I picked up the pieces on my own but they broke me."

I wanna feel sorry for him, I really do but I still don't comprehend why he fought with Kgosi.

"Explain the fight," I say without showing any remorse.

"He hit a nerve, baby. He annoys me to the core, he just pressed certain buttons and I couldn't control myself. I love you not her, Busi, I knew I was over her the first time I laid eyes on you and then I realized I could Love again. I'm deeply am sorry you got the wrong idea, but you worth more. I don't wanna lose you," he wipes my tears.

I didn't even realize I was crying, bloody prenancy is making me weak asf.

"You hurt me, Nathi, deeply. I thought you were fighting for her," my head finally makes contact with his bare chest that smells horrible. I don't really care because I feel like I belong here.

"You promise you don't love her anymore?" My insecurities are getting the better of me.

"You trust me, right?" His palms settle on both of my cheeks and he deeply searches my eyes.

I've always trusted him. One incident will never change that, I only reacted this way because his actions took me off guard.

"I do and always will," I utter.

"Good. So you should know that I love you and no one else for that matter. What I had with her is long over due and she means nothing to me," he gently lingers a kiss on my forehead.

He pulls me back to his chest again and nestles my head while brushing my back gently and I hear him chuckle,"If you didn't act all crazy on me, I would have explained everything myself. Now we both went a whole two weeks miserable."

Nathi is a bastard. Still wanna make meaningless jokes.

Something comes flashing back like a hit weave and it manages to make me angered once again.

"Isn't Thabitha the chick I saw you with the first time I decided to come watch you play basketball?" I try to move away from his chest so I can face him but he tightens his hold instead.

His heartbeat races and I'm not to quite certain whether his frighten that he got caught or his just genuinely frighten I might start the fight all over again.

"It was her. She was there to try and get back with me but I didn't budge. I found you, you complete me. It turns out she isn't happy in her relationship, I'm glad you came that day," he lifts my chin so I look at him in the eye. "She saw I moved on, she didn't bother me at all after that day. I love you Busisiwe, and please don't ever run away and ignore me for the whole two weeks."

I can tell that our fight strained him deeply, the same way it did to me.

I smile,"I won't."

I tighten my grip around his waist, slightly forgetting about what has transpired. I just need him more now and I need us to find a way to move on from this.

"Can you please bath me, I miss your touch," he gives me that naugthy smile of his. I know what's on his mind.

"I'll do that, after cleaning up your mess though," I frown looking at the disgusting dishes.

He chuckles,"Wait until you see the lounge." He moves away from me and lights up the entire house.

"Ewwwww Nathi," I yell as I glance at the empty bottles of alcohol, take away plastic bags and clothes that are all over the place.

He laughs loudly and hugs me from behind.

"I'm sorry, sthandwa, but a nigguh was miserable," he bites my ear.

"And you smell too, stay away from me," I yell and run up the stairs as I leave him laughing.

God damn, I've missed him.