Sword Art Online: Regeneration (Uprising)

19:

I stared blankly at my mother. And didn't know how to react. How to feel, what to say. I knew who she and I were. I know how it ends. Asuna-sensei was a close friend of mom, Kyouji Shinkawa, Deathgun, was my father, I was an accident from a rape case.

     There was this tightness in my chest that appeared. She sat there in silence.

     "How did you end up here? In SAO? Now that you're dead?" I questioned.

     "From what I heard, Kirito uploaded the remaining of what little fluctilghts I had left into the game. But it's only for so long, I'll disappear eventually. I'm using all my strength to get you back up. I don't think I'll manage for long." She described.

     She fixed her hair and shamefully gazed at me. Her black eyes that I could see the reflection of my own eyes. The same eyes I carry about. Not my sisters, but my mother's.

     "Aren't you mad?" She wondered, "I mean it's kinda my fault why everyone avoids you. News about the rape spread fast and everyone looked at me, a police officer, that couldn't defend herself. I was the biggest joke."

    I shook my head, "No, not even the slightest. It wasn't your fault that happened. You didn't plan to have me anyway. And it was Kyouji's doing." A tear fell from my eye right eye. "In fact I should be the one sorry. You had to go all through that because of me."

     Mom enveloped me in her arms once more, it was reassuring. She sobbed out, "Even if you were unplanned. I wanted to keep you. I wanted to be there for you. That night was your birthday when I died. I couldn't take care of you afterwards. I thought Asuna and Kirito came for you that night too. I guess it was too late. I'm sorry, Raito. I never wanted you with people like that. I want..." she paused.

     "I....I wanted to raise you myself!" She yelled and her screamed turned to whimpers and sniffs. I hugged my mom, as I cried along with her, "I wish, I could have helped you when you had trouble with schoolwork, made you have good and hot meals, greet you good morning and good night. Sleep beside you, knowing you'd still be there the next morning. I want to do so much more. But failed." I loved her, more than anything else. The woman that brought me into this world, although didn't mean to, wanted to, in the end, nothing more to see where I was.

     My mother's tragedy was fearing her own life. I was the reminder of the damage she caused to herself and perhaps to others. But she did something that only she could do rather than the people I've met in the real world.

Everyone in this world. The people I'm protecting, they love someone or are holding to someone dear, hoping they get home to them. Shooting a man just to protect my grandmother, but her mom never wanted anything to do with her from that point on. She never wanted that for me. In fact, she wanted to be the complete opposite.

     She lets go if her grip on me, "Your wounds are all healed up. But your eye is too much for me to do anything about. I'm sorry about that. I think it's time for us to say goodbye now." She smiles widely and gives me an anxious face, "Oh, Raito, what a cruel world. The only way we could see each other was through my fluctlights turned to an in game item. And now I see my one year-old all grown up now, fifteen. Happy late birthday."

     She even remembered. I returned her worried face with my huge grin, "Thanks. I don't really know a lot of stuff yet. But I'm learning. Asuna is actually a teacher in the real world, she teaches English in a school, even looking after me here in SAO. She taught me and Atsuo a lot of sword skills, she's the Commander of the Knights of Blood—the biggest guild in the game. That's why I call her Asuna-sensei. And I'm doing pretty well in school, straight As. She isn't trapped here though.