It Began With a Smirk

63: Past Regrets

“Don’t make me tickle it out of you.” He teased and I returned it with a weak smile. “Come on, you can tell me.”

I shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is if it’s making you cry.” He pointed out. We were silent for a second. “Is it boys honey? Cuz believe me I know all about them. They are dirt let me tell you.” He said in an overly gay tone flipping his wrist and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You need to find a guy who’s so big it’ll poke out of your mouth sweetie.”

He smiled at me. “See, a laugh. That’s good.” 

“You’d be a convincing gay man.”

He chuckled and looked at me. “Now tell me, please?”

“It’s just a friend problem.”

“Shoot.”

I sighed. “It may surprise you but I did have friends back in Connecticut.”

He nodded. “I was just being an asshole when I said otherwise. Go on.”

“Opal and I were connected at the hip.  We shared everything which each other. My dad was busy a lot so I was almost always at her house. I’d spend about five nights a week there.” I started to say. Why on earth am I telling him this? “We talked about everything. When I wasn’t over there we were always on the phone. We didn’t really have anyone but each other.”

“You two sound really close.” He said softly.

I nodded.  “We were.”

“What happened?”

I looked away. I can’t tell him. “She won’t talk to me anymore.”

Kale scooted closer and pushed some hair back behind my ear. “Why won’t she talk to you?”

“She walked in on her dad kissing me.” I said quietly. Stop talking. Now. My mind scolded me.

I looked over at Kale and his face looked beyond surprised. “What?”

“I had been sleeping over and I woke up thirsty. I went to get a drink and I saw her dad crying.” I sighed. “Her mom had only died a year before and he was taking it really hard. I was comforting him. We were just talking. That was it.”

Kale listened and I was surprised as he waited patiently for more. Why can’t I stop talking? “He had been drinking and was upset so his mind wasn’t in the right place. He ended up kissing me. It was only for a second and I pulled away right away.”

“When you told her she freaked out?” he asked me softly.

I shook my head. “She saw it. Our voices had woken her up.”

“Why would that make her mad at you? You didn’t do anything.”

“She said I kissed him. That I was trying to take her mom’s place.” Tears started stinging in my eyes and I tried blinking them away. “She completely freaked out. She said that I was a whore and I was coming onto her dad. That I hadn’t meant for it to stop with just a kiss.”

Kale rested his hand on my shoulder. “She started telling everyone about it. No one would talk to me. Even the teachers acted differently. My dad acted weird around me. We didn’t usually talk before but he wouldn’t even make eye contact with me anymore.”

“That’s why you left.”

I nodded. “She was my only friend. I was always myself around her. I trusted her with everything.” Tears streamed down my face. “She wouldn’t even give me a minute of her time to find out what had happened.”

“Rein . . .” he said softly. I looked up at him. “Come here.”

“You’re right. My personality is shit.” I whispered.

“No I didn’t mean it when I said it I was just-“

“The one person I trusted everything to dropped me in a matter of seconds. I’m not worth even a minute of her time.” I started to cry again and looked away.

Kale wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. “Don’t say that Rein.”

“It’s true.”

He hugged me close. “I’m an asshole, okay? I’m a fucking idiot.” He shifted so I was up in his lap. “I said those things because I was mad. I didn’t mean any of it.”

“You were right.”

“I wasn’t. You’re a good person. It’s her fault. She won’t listen to you. She’s not giving you her time. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were only trying to help.”

“She was my only friend.”

“Now you have new friends.”

“They are your friends, not mine.”

He shook his head. “You know that’s not true.”

I went quiet and buried my face in his chest as my heart beat fast. She hates me. “It was her mistake, not yours.” He cooed gently into my ear. “She is the one who pushed an amazing person out of her life.”

“Yeah so amazing.” I scoffed rolling my eyes.

“Good did come of it.”

“Like what?”

“You got to meet all these new people here. You got to start fresh.” He said softly. “I got to meet you.”

“Yeah because that’s a good thing.

“It is. If I hadn’t gotten to know you I would probably be sleeping with some girl right now and waking up without ever knowing her name.”

I chuckled. “So me being here is keeping you from sex. Yeah I’m a real lifesaver.”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to be the asshole I am. I don’t know how it happened but it did.”

I looked up at him but he was looking away. “I don’t like who I am. It took you to make me realize that.” Kale looked back down at me and gave me a sad smile. 

All The Things She Said - Tatu