Hidden Pride

You Fell Asleep In My Car

I didn't really want to talk to John so I pretended to fall asleep. It must've not worked all the well because John tried to talk to me, I didn't respond and continued the act. "Paul you're not fooling me, Christ you couldn't fool anyone if you tried."

I reluctantly sat up and glared at John. I didn't want to talk to him at all. This whole thing was such a bad idea why didn't I give more of a fight? "Paul, what's wrong with you step mom?" I didn't really have an answer to that Dad was pretty quick about the whole phone call.

"It was something with her heart, I don't know exactly." The silence in the car was painful so I turned on the radio to cope. "It wasn't easy, coming out." I was confused why he was bringing this up again but decided to listen. "I mean I couldn't believe it. The first guy I was ever with forced me to come out to everyone. My Aunt who abandoned me and I lost so many friends."

I didn't know what to say,  god what if I come out to my Dad and it turns out just like John? I looked over at John who looked miserable. I don't remember John having a boyfriend before. "When did you have a boyfriend?" John glanced over at me before shifting his eyes back to the road. He was tense, John had always been so open about most aspects of his life.

"His name was Brian and he's dead now. We broke up a few months before he died. He meant well but he didn't know what kinda situations he was putting me in." This was all so new to me, why didn't John say anything? Did this have anything to do with the time John was so depressed he almost got kicked out of school for his grades? There was nothing I could've done to help him then, word weren't enough nor was just being their it all went right past him.

"Why didn't you say anything about it? We wouldn't of push you away." I can kinda understand but John our of all people doesn't hide things like this. "I didn't want to be too much of a burden, and besides it's over now there's no point in saying anything this late."

We eventually pulled up to the hospital. My heart started racing. Fuck I'm going to have to see my Dad, what if he asks about my flag? "Do you want me to go in with you? It's okay if you-" I cut him off because I didn't want to go in alone "Yeah please come with me!" I said frantically.

___________

"Paul, I'm glad you were able to make it. Who's this?" John put out his hand and introducers himself. "I'm John. I'm Paul's roommate." Something about the word roommate hurt. Why didn't he call me his friend or at least something other than "roommate."

"Well nice to meet you." My father said shaking his hand. We sat in the waiting room waiting for my stepmom to get out of surgery. John and I watched Unus Annus to distract ourselves. I wasn't really worried for her, I was more worried for my Dad than anything.

"Paul, your mother is out. You wanna see her?" I got up and walked to him. I knew I probably shouldn't but I was fucking tired of it. "She's not my mother." I said firmly.

"Paul, you're being unreasonable. Your mother died such a long time ago and-" I quickly cut him off. "You've got to be kidding me! You wanted her to be dead just for the money!" I raised my voice a bit louder.

"She's dead, Paul. Your mother would've wanted you-" "How dare you talk about what my would've wanted!" I was about to punch my Dad before I felt someone stop me. I looked over to see John. His face made me feel calm and safe. Weird.

Sorry for posting this a few days late, I completely forgot about it. Thanks for reading! Have a great day! 🧡