Hidden Pride

So Why Do You Call Me And Tell Me You Want Me Back?

The day was just filled with moping around the house and trying to call Jane. I didn't know how to feel about her. It wasn't officially over but I wasn't holding out much hope. John has been trying to be supportive and caring but I don't know how much it really helped. On top all the that my father didn't even message me. Maybe he forgot but I wasn't willing to call him to find out. What a shitty day today was, but life moves on I guess.

John and I were currently watching Back to The Future 3. George went to bed after the first one and Ringo went to bed sometime in the middle of the second one. "Paul, you seem a bit on edge, is it about your flag? It's okay if it's not straight." Oh and I almost forgot about my flag, almost.

"John, I'm straight for Christ sake! Not everything is about my sexuality!" Even with my protest John gave me a doubtful look.* I wish I was straight, Jane couldn't have left me and I could show everyone the flag instead of hiding it. There's nothing I can do about it now, I just have to figure out how to better hide it.

I felt John grab my shirt and tried to unbutton it. "HEY!" I pushed John away from me. "Sorry- I don't know what I was thinking." He sounded like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. What did he think I was going to do? Just sit there and take it? I sure as hell wasn't going to let him see the flag. "I think I'm gonna go to bed." I got up and walked to my room. I was too tired to deal with any of this bullshit. I collapsed on my bed without changing my clothes.

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I woke up too the sound of Hey There Delilah playing loudly in my ear. I opened my eyes and shifted them to my phone. I grabbed them and answered. "Hey?" I looked over at my clock which was currently flashing in read letters: 2:37 A.M. Why the hell was she calling so fucking late? Was she gonna say she was unreasonable and rude? I really hope she doesn't tell anyone, I can't deal with being outed right now.

I can't believe this woman breaks up with me in my birthday then wakes me up at 2 in the fucking morning. "H-Heyyyyy sooo can you come overr?" She sounded drunk or maybe stoned, no definitely drunk. "Jane go to bed, it's 2 in the fucking morning."

"I love you." She was giggling while speaking, was she laughing at me? "If you love me then why did you break up with me?" She giggled for a bit before answering me. I could almost hear her smile through that laugh. "You just had to go lying saying you wanted to fuck guys." Her giggle turned into hysterical roaring, it made the pit of my stomach full of dread. "I-I'm not lying! And I never said I want to... do that with dudes." I insisted, trying to be firm but ended up sounding like a wet noodle. Her laugh hurt like a knife to the chest, I couldn't explain why.

"You're lying but I love you anyway." Her laughing hurt too much, I had enough of this shit so I hung up. She tried calling back a few times but I eventually put my phone on silent. What the fuck was wrong with this girl? First she breaks up with me, on my birthday none the less, then calls me telling me she loves me? What a maniac. How did I never see this side to her before? I mulled over it for a minute before drifting to sleep.

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