look at me ✧ chuuves

the music box

<chuu>

"you look calmer than usual," chaewon stated.

i looked at her and didn't even realize that i've been eating at a normal pace, unlike my usual slow-eater side. my plate was almost empty and my friends chuckled for that reason.

hyejoo added, "did something happen?"

"guys, i know this may sound crazy, but i've decided to tone down my crush on sooyoung," i honestly replied. i heard yerim choking on her water.

not that anything would change. i still like her, anyway. after my awkward encounter with a crying sooyoung yesterday, i just thought that it's best not to make a fool of myself in front of her when we get a chance to interact "again". i honestly don't know how that would go, but i do hope i won't screw it up.

as i've said, there's more to sooyoung that i want to know. i don't know what it is, but i'll make sure to find out if i'm given the chance to.

it's all up to you, universe. give me a sign whenever.

it was kind of childish of me to leave this one to the fate's hands. but it was for a good reason. sooyoung has friends from another class, anyway. she wouldn't necessarily need me, right? i mean, it's been four years now and i don't think she even remembers my name.

the bell rang as soon as i finished the last bite. we all got up from our seats and headed to our respective classrooms.

❖

because of me shamelessly sleeping throughout the whole last subject yesterday, the teacher told me to overstay after classes to finish a special seatwork given to me and submit it to him within the day. i believe that's his way of punishment. i really didn't mind, but i get kind of slow at times. not that i was a total failure or anything. there were just some lessons that i found it hard to understand.

these are shapes! why do i find shapes so hard? quadrilaterals, my ass.

 it's been obviously a torture for the past twenty minutes. ever since the dismissal bell rang, i got my eyes glued on this paperwork so that i could finish early. guess, i'll be home later than usual.

i was down to the last item and all i had to do is input a number for the angle. thoughts on the back of my mind just kept on kicking their way to the front. even though i would like to forget about my feelings just for a moment, i really couldn't stop thinking about sooyoung.

i furiously ruffled my bangs and grumbled while putting my head down on my desk. i just wanted peace and quiet in doing the job done, but my brain and feelings wouldn't let me.

my head turned its way to the left side. instead of looking at empty chairs, i immediately spotted the girl who's been running on my mind. startled, i quickly sat straight back up and fixed my bangs.

where the fuck did she come from? then again, i had my eyes on this paper since dismissal of classes, so i never really got to check my surroundings.

sooyoung was staring out the window with her chin placed on her right hand. as expected, she looked so beautiful when the golden hour sunlight hit her. i never would have pulled that off. 

it wasn't a surprise anymore that she was the popular girl in school regardless of being a different aged person from the rest of us tenth-graders. in fact, that was exactly the reason why seniors, a.k.a. '97 liners along with sooyoung, are usually the ones confessing their "love" to her. yeah, that's right. what do they know about love anyway?

snapping myself back to reality, i just put '24' on the provided blank space and got it over with. i put my paper inside my satchel and stood up.

so, the universe answered back quite sooner than i thought.