A Million Roads to Nowhere

The Need to Protect

Patrick has screaming nightmares all night when he finally gets to sleep and in the morning, he wakes up to snow. The tiny ledge outside his window has a pile of the stuff on it and when he looks outside, the ground is covered in a layer of it. He opens the window and sticks his head out, breathing in the cool air. When his cheeks go numb and pink, he pulls his head back in and latches the window shut.

The sharp switch of chilly to freezing serves to waken him more, though his eyelids droop a little and he wishes he could have gotten some restful sleep. His scars ache and he rubs them to soothe the pain. Aodhan said he would feel off, but it's been over a week now.

I guess I just need more time, he thinks as he shrugs on some cleaner clothes.

He decides that if he keeps having trouble sleeping after a few more days, he'll go talk to Aodhan. There's only so many days of little sleep that he can take, but Aodhan's been busy with burn victims and stocking up on medicines for the battles to come. Patrick tried to help him out, but Aodhan explicitly forbade him from doing anything even slightly strenuous. Patrick tried to help William lift crates and received such a verbal lashing that he thinks if he tries anything even without Aodhan around, he'll get in trouble.

Signe recovered his sword and book for him, but reading for any extended period of time makes his head spin and sparring is a big no-no. So, he doesn't bother to bring Clarity with him whenever he leaves his room. If he got attacked, he'd be dead meat. He can't practice spells or spar or read or even sleep to pass the time, so he goes in search of William and prays he doesn't have anything to do at the moment.

Patrick finds William in the dining hall, eating a bowl of soggy porridge. He looks oblivious to the world around him, entranced by the oatmeal. So, he's not so much eating his breakfast as he is staring deeply into its depths with a vaguely troubled expression.

Why can't we all be happy? Patrick asks himself as he takes a seat across from William, who doesn't so much as twitch.

"William," Patrick calls softly.

William jumps, flinging porridge out of the bowl as he lets go of the spoon abruptly. His face reddens as he hurriedly cleans the table off with a cloth napkin. "By the Bells, Patrick. When did you get here?"

"Just now." A brief pause then, "What's bothering you?"

William glances up and their eyes meet briefly before he averts his gaze and returns to staring at his food. "It's nothing."

"Cut the shit," Patrick says as gently as he can. "Tell me."

"Uh- it's um- uh- Brynjar said that- that Seamus wanted to- to talktome and I d-don't..."

William sounds like he's going to burst into tears, so Patrick frantically reaches across the table and grabs his hands in his, squeezing lightly. William trembes and Patrick holds onto him tighter.

"You don't have to go," Patrick says calmly. "You have no obligation to go. You're sworn to Aodhan now and Seamus is a prisoner. He can't tell you to do anything."

William's eyes are watery and Patrick desperately wants to make him feel better. William inhales shakily and after some silence whispers out, "Can we- can we go to my room?"

"Aye, let's go."

Patrick doesn't let go of William's hand as they ascend the stairs and make their way to William's room. They pass the infirmary, where they can hear Aodhan giving instructions to a patient. The cots in the resting room have been filled recently but have been slowly emptying out and Aodhan's been able to move back to his room in the castle instead of working out on the field.