Master's Boy (mxb)

Chapter Thirty-Four

Keeping that in mind, I pulled out a large plastic box from my office, one that I'd been using to keep files together, and completely emptied it. Instead, I replaced it with a soft blanket and some of the fuzzy socks that Jerry left in his drawer. I wrote up a short and sweet note about how beautiful he'd been during our scene, and how much I appreciated him.

By the time I was ready to slide the box under our bed, I felt damp arms wrap around my waist.

"I'm sorry," Jerry mumbled into my back. "You can shower with me whenever you want. I'm sorry."

Any and all thoughts, no matter how joking, of giving my boy a disciplinary spanking completely evaporated. I turned and wrapped him up in my arms, placing a sweet kiss on the top of his head. My heart overflowed with affection for the boy, so powerful that it left me breathless.

"Don't be sorry—" I began, but he cut me off.

"I know I haven't been myself today," he said, looking up at me with tear-filled brown eyes. "I don't know why, I just feel really out of sorts. I can't even explain it. I'm sad, and I'm kind of mad at you, but I don't know why, but mostly I just want you to hold me, but I'm mad at myself for wanting you to do that."

I cupped his face in my hands and brought him in for a kiss. "Sweetheart. It's okay, I promise. I can help you understand what you're going through. Do you want to sit down and talk?"

He nodded miserably, bottom lip wobbling.

I plopped down onto my bed and Jerry curled up into my lap, resting his lead on my shoulder. I couldn't help but coo aloud at how adorable he was. "You are so precious," I murmured, stroking my fingers through his hair. "Do you need to cry it out, baby?"

His wobbling bottom lip became a frown, and then the mist in his eyes welled over. "Y-yeah, just a bit," he croaked out, tucking his head underneath my chin.

I held him close and stroked his back as he sniffled. "It's okay, baby," I whispered, holding him tight. "This is my fault, okay? I'll tell you all about what's going on."

Jerry lifted his head, covering his mouth and staring at me through glassy eyes. "How?" he asked, sniffling a little. "How is it your fault?"

I brushed away a few stray tears and kissed his nose. "I should've known better than to have our scene before dinner, and right after your piercing and our altercation with my parents. Not that sub drop is preventable, but there are ways to lessen the affects."

He swallowed and looked at me quizzically. "Sub drop? I've never heard of that."

I cuddled him closer and smiled. "You felt good last night, didn't you?"

"Holy shit, of course," Jerry snorted, a shaky smile appareling on his pretty lips. "It was like...orgasmic. And I didn't even orgasm."

"Well that's sub space," I explained, tapping his head. "It's when your brain releases a bunch of feel-good chemicals all at once. Sub drop is what happens when the brain hasn't quite replenished those chemicals yet."

Jerry sighed, wrapping his arms around himself. "Oh thank Gaga," he said, leaning into my cuddles. "This will go away?"

"Of course," I promised, kissing him on the head. "And it won't necessarily happen every time. From now on, we'll make sure to eat some carbs and hydrate an hour before a scene. And look— I made you something."

I pointed at the box at our feet and Jerry leaned over to look at it. "A box?"

"You have a job to do," I decided. "I knew fuzzy things made you happy, so I put warm socks and a soft blanket inside already. But you should reflect on some things that will make you feel better in the case that this happens again. Like your favorite movie, or a book, or a list of some songs that you like."

"It's a self-care box," Jerry realized, smiling a little. "And what's that piece of paper?"

It wasn't exactly surprising when I felt my cheeks turn pink, but I didn't enjoy it. "I wrote you a little something. I was planning on adding things to it too, like small presents or letters."

Jerry's eyes welled up with tears again. "Really? Sorry, I'm really emotional right now, but that is so sweet. Can I read it?"

Oh jeez. The downside was that now I had to actually watch him read my emotional letter, which meant I saw his reaction. I swore to myself that I'd take it like a man if he pointed and laughed his ass off.

"Yeah, unless you want to save it?" I asked hopefully.

Jerry snatched up the letter and I tried not to groan. "I want it now. Besides, who's to say I'll ever experience sub drop again?"

"...I was thinking it could also function as an aftercare box? So really, you could read it whenever, maybe especially when I'm not in the same room," I added, admittedly a little desperate.

A wave of a hand and a shush shut me up. "I'm reading your nice letter."

Luckily, Jerry didn't burst into laughter. Actually, as his eyes skimmed the page, they slowly filled with tears all over again. I was a little nervous, unsure why I'd made him upset, until he threw his arms around me and squeezed for a good two minutes.

"You liked it?" I asked.

He nodded and sniffed. "Thank you."

I hid my smile and closed my eyes, pulling Jerry even closer to me. My heart hadn't stopped fluttering since I'd met the kid, but something was just different these days. I wanted to hold him forever, keep him safe, and show him how much I appreciated him.

When Jerry finally let me go and flopped back into my lap, I said, "I didn't want it to be too corny, but I meant every word. That's the way it feels when you surrender yourself to me. And it's really the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

Jerry held the letter close to his heart and looked at me like I'd given him a million dollars. "This is the nicest thing in the whole world. And this morning— you don't even wanna know the stuff I was thinking. About how scenes were awful, and I hurt so badly, and how I never wanted to do it again."

I nodded, trying to pretend like the thought didn't make my heart drop. "That feeling is going away now? Or no?"

He nodded slowly. "It is. And I'm not as achy, because the shower helped a lot. Although I'm kinda hungry now and I wasn't this morning. Maybe that's a good thing?"

I scooped him into my arms like a princess and he squeaked. He dropped the letter back into the box as I carried him out of the room. "It's a good thing. You need pain meds, more water, and some food in your belly."

"And...and maybe we can sneak into the club to use the hot tub?" he asked, batting his eyelashes hopefully. "I know the club is closed today, but like...hot tub?"

I grabbed a pillow off the couch on our way to the kitchen and put it down on a chair before Jerry sat. He blushed a little as I placed him down and started to reheat his food. "I'm starting to think that I'll have to build a hot tub here for you."

"You'd do that?!"

"...I have the money to do that," I mumbled. Then I remembered the construction being done to the club. Even though Aidan and I had built the main frame of the room, I still needed to hire an electrician. "Well, actually, maybe not. The club sounds good to me."

"Yay!" Jerry cheered, throwing his hands up. "And, um, I was being a little dramatic this morning. My ass hurts, but it's not totally unbearable."

I smirked and delighting in his blushing cheeks. "Knew it."

"Hey! It did still kinda hurt though!" he insisted, crossing his arms and huffing.

I kissed his cheek. "Sure, baby. I believe it. Now c'mon, eat up so we can go use the hut tub. And then we can shower and start to work on installing the drywall."

Jerry dropped his head back to the table. "I'm saying cactus to that."

What a little devil boy.