Anxiety (Anxceit) Up For Adoption

1- Where to begin...

(Virgil's Pov.)

"Alright Logan I'm tired of this crap, whats going on?" I ask slightly annoyed. Logan had been acting weird around me and kept starting to say things and then stopped. What sucks is that he's my best friend in the house, and I know he's keeping something from me. Logan tightens his the like he does whenever he's uncomfortable and looked to the others for help. Patton steps in for Logan, " Well kiddo, we were just wondering, well... " " What is it like to be anxiety? " Roman says, blunt as ever. Finally! We got there! " What do you mean? " Obviously they're talking about my trait and not what they call me, but that doesn't clarify at all. " Well we have all had moments of creativity, used our figurative moral compass, and we have used logic, but we have not ever experienced anxiety, " Logan explained, " What is it like? " I groan. This is gonna take a while. "Alright, sit down and I'll try to explain," I said reluctantly, "Where to begin..."

"So, there are seven main types of anxiety. I have all seven whereas Thomas has three that I don't need to really hold back from him. He has GAD, social anxiety disorder, and phobias. I have those, except heightened. But I also have panic disorder, PTSD, agoraphobia, and OCD. Now, I'm not gonna go full Logan on you but-" "Going to," Logan interrupted me. I glared at him and made a mental reminder to use contractions( I think that's the word? I'm in gate but I refuse to use my brain any more) as much as possible now in my explanation, " gonna go full Logan on you but I'll explain the gist of it. GAD is being overly worried about things that you shouldn't worry about. Social anxiety is common, it's the fear of being laughed at and judged by others. Panic disorder is random panic attacks, even when you aren't feeling anxious. "

"Those sound terrible kiddo! You have all of those?" Patton cried. He looked at me with pity on his eyes. I fidgeted with my sleeve under his gaze. " Y-yeah, I'm fine though! " I quickly reassure him. Curse my stutter! He looked at me with doubt, but Logan signaled me to go on.
"Anyways, agoraphobia means you're afraid of placed you can't easily get out of, like a car. Phobias. When you get close to something you fear, you might feel slight anxiety and panic. OCD can be really pesky, but it isn't really something physical. You might need to do something over and over again. Like, if there were some cubes in a row and one was tilted, you would need to fix it every time it got tilted," I added after seeing their confused expressions. They all nodded in understanding.
" Now, you need to remember that's these are just fears, some of them you have to understand that I think about this all the time, " I stressed.
"We know," Logan said.
" Alright then, now the last one. You've probably of PTSD but do you know what it stands for? " Pat and Roman shook their heads.
"It stands for post- traumatic stress disorder." The look of shock and worry on their faces was clear, and Patton looked as if he was about to cry.
"You can have...very vivid nightmares and flashbacks of your trauma."
" Oh you poor little anxious baby! " Patton cried and hugged me. I let him cry for a minute on my shoulder.
"I'm fine Pat, trust me," I reassured him.

" You have had trauma that you have to relive! You're not fine! " Roman yelled.
"I've gotten sorta... used to it I guess... I'm fine. There's nothing you can do Princey," I told him. God, they just keep pushing it!
" That clears some things up, and don't think we aren't going to talk about you having PTSD, but it doesn't answer our question, " Logan said. After I tried for the rest of the morning to explain, I gave up.
"Well, I'm out of ideas of how to explain this to you. There's only one thing I could d-," I stopped myself. Shit. Shitty shit Shit shit shit.
"What can you do?" Roman asked.
" I-It's nothing. "
"Obviously it's not nothing. Come on just tell us!"
" I wouldn't do it anyway, so it doesn't matter! "
"Kiddos! Calm down, no fighting. If you're not doing it Anxiety, why don't you tell us?" Patton interrupted.
"F-Fine. I could give you a tiny amount of my anxiety, but I refuse to, " I said.
"You can do that? Interesting... " Logan asked.
"Yeah I can, but you guys could have a panic attack and then pass out and then crack your skull or-" I was interrupted from my train of thoughts by Logan.I
"It we have a panic attack you can calm us down and take our anxiety away. Then we won't pass out."
" I-I'm still not doing it, trust me when I say it wouldn't be good. "
"Come on Panic! At he Everywhere! If we allow it it's not your fault if we freak out. I wanna know," Princey said, pouting. Oh my God he is such a child.
"You know what, if at the end of the day you still want to feel my anxiety then I'll let you feel it. Okay?"
" Fiiiine, " Princey whined.
"That will be adequate," Guess who.
" Okay kiddo! " Patton said. Honestly I don't know how he's so happy all the time.
I spent the rest of the day running away from Sir-Sing-A-Lot because he kept bugging me about just letting him do it. God, I really hope they say no. I would never forgive myself if one of them had a panic attack. I think I would probably even feel terrible if Roman had one. He's not too bad off camera, we just pretend in the videos since it would be odd if he just went from being a total asshole to a friend all of the sudden. I really care about all of them, even if I don't really act that way. I would hate for them to get hurt.

1,056 Words

Sorry that this is so sucky to whoever got so desperate that they read this. My beginnings always suck. It will hopefully get better throughout the rest of the chapters.