Anxiety (Anxceit) Up For Adoption

Chapter 11

So, a lotta shit has happened while writing this...wow

(Virgil's Pov)

As I walked the path over to the gate, I noticed myself getting more and more uneasy. What if they won't let me back in? What if Patton hates me because I hurt Roman? What if Roman is too badly hurt and can't get home?

I tried to push these thoughts away while I walked on the thin strip of land hovering slightly over water. I started to slip and fall in one of the cracks. I remembered almost calling there when I brought Roman back to the gate. I realized that I had been staring at the water for a while as I thought. I snapped out of it and looked closer at my reflection in the clear water. I had a couple cuts on my face I probably got from stopping the fight. My eyes had bigger bags than normal, I hadn't even put eyeshadow on her and it looks darker than usual.

I slowly brought my eyes away from my reflection and instead focused on cupping some water in my hands to splash the dirt and grime that built up on my face over the past days. I got another handful of the water to drink, as if been walking for a while. I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen when I got to the gate. I couldn't help but feel guilty about the entire situation. I had snapped and punched Roman and left. They were all hurt, and I couldn't convince myself even a little that it wasn't my fault.

I continued walking until a got to a portion of the path that was wider. There was enough space to have to people walking side by side. I slowly watched as more and more patches of land rose out of the water, until I got to the slow slope of land that led to a flat area of ground again. From here, I should have been able to get to the gate in 10 minutes of I walked fast. I started to feel ill, and my stomach was upset. I had pushed all of my feelings of dread and guilt and pain to the side and they were all bubbling up as I got so close to having to confront the Lights. I felt a little bit of stomach acid come up, and I winced at the burning feeling and bad taste it had left in my mouth. I looked down the path with all of the dense overgrowth. No one had been here for a while, nobody had felt the need to keep it meat and pruned.

I looked down the path with all of the dense overgrowth. No one had been here for a while, nobody had felt the need to keep it neat and pruned. I wanted to go back to Janus. To Janus, to Remus, to Remy, to the people I felt safe with and trusted. I shook my head and stood back up from the seating position I got myself into. I started walking and tried to force the thoughts and all of my instincts telling me to go back and leave the Lights alone. I walked slowly, wanting to put the confrontation as far away as possible. I hadn't even thought of what I could possibly say.

I couldn't just pop in and say, 'Hey! I'm back after I got angry and left the Light Mind Palace!' Yeah, no. I started to finally come to the terms that I couldn't plan whatever happened. This calmed me down a bit, but in the back of my mind I knew. I knew none of those possibilities would end of good auto over smooth. Before I knew it I came upon the gate. I was scared, all of the Lights would know I came back as soon as I stepped through the fancy gem engrained marble gate. ( I don't know if I said that right :/ ) At least I didn't see Roman at the gate, which means he was able to get up and get back.

I get nervous every time I pass through the gate from the Dark Mind Palace, thinking one of these times I can't pass through the gate to get to the Light side. I took at deep breath and closed my eyes. I placed one foot in the middle of the gate, only needing to take one more step before there was no turning back.

I honestly had no idea what the plot was going to me so I'm writing it as I go along, so I have no idea what I'm doing from here. This is very late because writers block fucking sucks. 😑

794 Words.