stardust - cole brookstone x female reader

Chapter Eight

for him. - Troye Sivan 

!TRIGGER WARNING! 

"I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder about a month ago." Cole said, brushing the remaining tears from his cheeks. 

Guilt struck me in the stomach. What was I supposed to say? "I'm...I'm sorry to hear that." 

Cole finally looked up, placing his elbow on the side of the table and resting his chin on his hand. "I've lived with that my whole life, don't feel like you have to pretend." 

He's right. I wasn't sorry. I just didn't know what to say, what to feel. 

"Don't feel like you need to say anything, either." 

I could tell he wasn't feeling good. Just a moment ago he was balling his eyes out, and now he was the person I had first met. 

"Don't feel bad, either. This is just what happens when you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and you get your heart broken by the same person a thousand times." 

I understand now. "Cole." I pressed my hand into his knee. "If there's anything I can do-" 

"Whatever you can do the prescriptions can, too." 

"No," I breathed. "You're wrong. Those prescriptions won't allow you to talk to someone. They might give you a temporary sense of relief, but are they really helping? I don't think so." 

"They help me think clearer." 

"But will they help you get better?" 

Cole stayed silent. So this is why he was so happy just a week before. 

"How long have you been like this? Since the day we hung out?" 

"I've been like this the entire week. I wouldn't have gotten out of bed if you hadn't shown up." 

"How...long were you in bed?" 

"The entire week. Except for when I wanted to eat...I guess." 

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting more tears stream down his cheeks. "I'm...sorry." 

"You need to stop apologizing. None of this is your fault." 

"But I can't fix myself...If I could at least make myself the least useful, for my own benefit...But I can't even do that. I can't make myself better." He continued to weep. 

I rubbed his back, unsure of what to say, so I asked: "What happened?" 

"You shouldn't want to know." 

"And I don't think I want to know. But I do want to help. So I won't stop asking until you tell me." I knew he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to tell me. 

"Please get out." 

"Cole I-"

"Please." 

I dropped my hand into my lap, squeezing my fingers into a fist. "I'm sorry if I-"

"Just get out." 

So I did.

~ 

Mariah Anderson. Oh how fiercely he had loved her. He would have done anything for her. Would have killed a man to make her happy. Despite the fact that is was almost a year and a half since that moment, he saw her face, the curve of her jaw, adorable orange freckles and wild red, curly hair. He saw it all, as if he was just waking up next to her for the first time again, the sunlight bleeding through the curtains on a beautiful Sunday morning. 

- - - 

Cole stood at the end of the table, filling his cup again. Jay had promised to stay by his side, but was probably carried off somewhere with a girl he'd met online. So here he was, alone again, drinking punch by himself- 

"Excuse me?" 

Cole looked down to see a redheaded girl, no older than eighteen, standing before him. Well, it seemed like she was almost standing underneath him. She was a a few heads shorter than him, but then again, Cole was taller than everybody. He was built, too. 

"Can I help you?" He asked the redhead. 

"I'm, uh..." She twisted her full lips to the side. "I'm a big fan. A really big fan, actually. I was wondering if I could get a picture...or something." She looked down at the ground , vibrant blue eyes shining in the golden lights. 

"Alright, who is letting fangirls in now?" 

The small girl looked up, panic in her eyes. "No! No! I'm not-well, I mean I am a fan of yours but I didn't sneak in here. I promise. I'm the daughter of-"

"I was kidding." 

"What?" 

"Joke. I was joking." Cole smiled at her, chuckling to himself. She laughed, too. It was a warm, innocent sound. He remembered wanting to listen to it all day. "So." He asked, taking a sip of his drink. "You're the daughter of who now?" 

She gestured over the room, pointing across from them to an elderly couple holding glasses of champagne. "Over there. That's my mom and my dad. My dad is the deputy mayor. I'm not really relevant to what they're talking about, or this party at all, so I sort of snuck off." She laughed softly to herself. 

Cole looked her up and down. Her wine-red dress was obviously too expensive and fancy for any commoner to buy. Just looking at her, he felt a bit under dressed in his tuxedo. The girl may have been a bit awkward, but it was undeniably cute. 

"What's your name?" He asked, sipping from his cup again. 

Her blue eyes flickered to his. "Mariah."

He held out his hand to her, and she shook it. "Nice to meet you, Mariah." 

Mariah smiled sheepishly. "Wow, um...S-sorry. It's just an honor to be able to shake hands with you." She laughed, pulling her hand away and covering her mouth with it. 

"Ah, the honor's all mine." He waved off the compliment, stuffing his hands in his pockets after downing the rest of his punch. "Anyway, you probably don't have anything better to do, right? Come hang out with me. My friends abandoned me, so I have nothing to do, either." 

A childish, excited light entered Mariah's eyes. "Really? No, I couldn't." 

"But the thing is, you can. Come on, I wanna sneak off some place, too." Cole set down his empty cup, took her hand and pulled her away. 

They giggled as he pulled them beneath a set of stairs - away from the light, away from the people. The classical music was still audible, though, and there was a slight glow from the chandelier seeping through the place where they entered. Cole jokingly tipped his head, leaning forwards in a mocking bow as he held out his hand. "Shall we, Miss Mariah?" 

The redheaded girl blushed and took his hand. "But of course, my knight in shining armor." 

Cole smiled widely as he spun her around.  He snorted every time Mariah would step on his feet. 

"Sorry, I'm a terrible dancer." She said as he continued to twirl her around. 

"Me too. Partially why I hate going to these things." 

"Really? Wasn't your dad one of those dancing Blacksmith dudes?" 

"Yeah, he was. I ran away, though, and before I became a well-known Ninja, he thought I was studying to become a performer at University." 

"Really?"

"For the longest time, he believed it." 

Mariah smiled sweetly, and they continued to dance the night away, the only sounds were their laughter and the swish of Mariah's dress. 

Thinking back on it now, Cole was foolish to believe he could have stayed happy for so long with her. 

《UNEDITED》