stardust - cole brookstone x female reader

Chapter Seven

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish  

!MINOR TRIGGER!

Before Cole left, he wrote down his address and phone number on a slip of paper and handed it to me. Idiot move, but holy shit I had his address. A part of me wondered why he was being like this. He was being so freaking naive that it almost scared me. What if he wasn't being naive and he did this to one girl at every meet and greet, then lures them into his home and kills them?

When I told my dad about the address, he told me to forget it and that as much as I adored Cole, I shouldn't have accepted it at all. I threw it in the trash but ran after to retrieve it when my dad wasn't looking.

Even if I was never going to visit Cole or text or call him, it still felt nice to have something of his. I know I already owned two days with him, but who knew if we were ever going to hang out again? At all? Or even see each other out on the street, or go out of our way to wave and smile at one another?

It was now eleven p.m, and I still held the ripped piece of paper between my fingers, rubbing my thumbs over the scribbled numbers and letters. His handwriting was messy, but a smart kind of messy.

I was itching to go to sleep, but something was bothering me. Why had he been so different today? I could barely tell it was him. He was the boy I dreamed to meet, but after really meeting him, my whole perspective was entirely changed. And now I couldn't believe that the boy of my dreams was acting like the boy of my dreams when he wasn't.

~

A week had passed, and I got around to texting Cole and simple: 'Hi! It's me. I just wanted to say thanks for the ice cream again. It's Y/n, by the way.'

He didn't respond at all. I understood that because he was probably receiving messages from girls all day if he just gave out his number like this all the time. Or maybe his teammates spam him and he just turned off his notifications.

Either way, it would have been nice if he replied with something as simple as: 'Sorry, I don't really reply that often but text me again if you wanna plan something!'

I scoffed, nearly choking on my laugh. It was all just wishful thinking. As soon as he left, he probably forgot my name entirely. Was I different or the same as every girl he had ever met? And what was this feeling? I wasn't worried about him...was I?

My parents were out on a date tonight...should I check up on him? He promised he would respond as soon as I texted him, or as soon as possible. I grabbed the address from my nightstand, rubbing my thumbs over the scribbled pencil marks. I was itching to see him again, although I knew I shouldn't be. I had gotten my hopes up. He wasn't going to see me again...

Unless...

I took the paper and hopped out of my pajamas, heading out in the dark with the slip of paper in my pocket. I made my way to the train station and got on without hesitation. Something was beckoning to me. Did he need me? Was something wrong?

For some reason, I didn't feel at home in my own house anymore. Was I just so infatuated with him that I felt almost too at home with him? For some reason, I didn't get off. I didn't move until I reached my destination. My parents wouldn't be home until later, so I had nothing to worry about.

His apartment was part of one of the fanciest buildings. He was rich, for crying out loud! There was a doorman posted outside of the entrance.

Anxiety began creeping up my spine. Was he going to stop me when I tried to get in? Should I just turn around now?

I shut myself down. I was overthinking way too many things. I have been for a while, now. I walked up to the door without another trace of hesitation. I was surprised when the doorman greeted me with a tight smile and opened the door for me. He didn't bother to pat me down for weapons or anything. He didn't look the friendliest, but I was just grateful he let me in.

"Room 208," I muttered to myself.

There was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling, releasing a golden glow across the marble walls and floor. I suddenly felt overwhelmed by everything.

Shaking my head, I crossed the lobby over to an elevator, pressing the button with my knuckle. The doors opened in an instant, and I stepped inside. The walls were mirrored, so I was stuck staring at myself until I reached the second floor - which wasn't long.

The hallways reminded me of a hotel - a super fancy hotel.

"Room 208...Room 208..." A sign finally pointed me in the direction of his apartment.

A took a deep breath as I approached the overly-fancy door before gently knocking on it three times. I waited for a few minutes, and when no answer came, I contemplated leaving before the door swung open to reveal a puffy-eyed Cole Brookstone.

He sniffled before a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes made its way across his face. He was crying. Crying.

My eyes grew wide, my lips parting slightly. "Oh- um...I'm sorry...Uh, did I-? I can leave if I, um, came at a bad time. Uh, s-sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No," He said, his voice hoarse. "It's fine. Don't worry about it." His words were slurred together, tired, and almost desperate. Wasn't he just...Wasn't he super happy just a week ago? He was so bouncy and upbeat the last time I had seen him.

We stood in silence for a little bit before Cole offered for me to come inside.

I waved a hand in front of me, brushing his offer away. "No no, don't worry about it. I just wanted to come to check up on you. But if I'm intruding on you, then you don't have to have me here. I can leave right now if you want me to."

Cole looked down, silent. Silent until tears started streaming down his tan cheeks. He brought his forearm up to his eyes, attempting to rub away the tears that wouldn't stop coming. "I...I'm sorry," He whispered.

I reached out, brushing my hand against his arm. "No...It's not...Whatever it is I don't think it's your fault." I recoiled when he pulled away from my touch.

"But it is..." He wept. "It's my fault because I can't get better."

I touched my fingers to my lips, letting myself into his messy apartment. I spotted a small table and sat him down in a chair before pulling another up for me to sit in. Cole was staring at his hands, so I took them in mine and held them tightly, even after he tried to pull away. "What is it?" I whispered.

Cole sighed, closing his eyes. "I just...You don't want to listen-"

"But I do, Cole. I don't care how close we are or how close we aren't."

"I'm not supposed to let anyone else know. I already got in trouble for seeing you."

"Trouble? What?"

"That's how you would have gotten in without question. I told the doorman about you. Then my manager found out and he...I mean, he already gets pissed at me for everything I do. He hates me."

"I doubt that's true, Cole. Maybe it was just a matter of miscommunication?"

"That's not it at all." His voice broke into a sob. "It's all my fault. My fault. My fault I'm like this."

"Maybe part of it is, but not completely." I lifted my finger under his chin, gently pushing his head up so he could meet my gaze. "What is it?"

"I can't tell-"

"You can. Just forget about whatever your manager has said in the past. Right now, it's you and your new therapist. You have a mind of your own. So do you want to tell me or no?"

Cole looked back down, his lip quivering. "I do...I really, really do..."

"Then tell me," I said, lifting his face again.