Lose You To Love Me

Friends

Brix

Kilala ako bilang pinakatahimik sa lahat ng kaibigan ni Max. I don't like to share something about me, kahit sa mga kaibigan ko. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko nakaya ang mga pang-aalaska at banat sa akin nina Marg at Luke. Tatahimik lang ako at ngingiti ngiti paminsan minsan. I don't share. Especially when it comes to love and feelings, I never share.

But today, I'd like to come into the open and confess my feelings. Mahirap na baka hindi na ako kailanman mabigyan ng pagkakataon.

Pinihit ko ang pinto ng isang fancy restaurant na kung saan ko kikitain ang aking sadya ngayon. I am having second thoughts for the last minute pero mukhang wala na akong takas dahil sinalubong na ako ng waiter at iginiya sa table na kung saan naghihintay siya sa akin. She was all smiles.

I started to feel the hundreds of butterflies in my stomach the moment my butt touched the cushioned wooden chair.  This is one thing I hate and love at the same time about this feeling of being inlove. At isang tao lang ang kayang magdulot sa akin ng damdaming ito.

"Hi Max. Sorry to keep you waiting." Nakakahiya pero daig ko pa ang dalagang Pililina sa pino ng mga kilos ko.

"Naku don't worry Brix.  Kadarating ko lang din.  Halos magkasabay lang tayo." Aniyang nakangiti.

"Quite a relief. By the way, I've got something for you." Sabi ko sabay abot ng mga bulaklak sa kaniya. 

She blushed. And I found her even cute when blushing. 

"Thank you." Inamoy amoy niya yung bigay kong bulaklak. 

"Shall we order?" Inabot ko sa kaniya ang menu. "Waiter, same order for two." I told the waiter. I ordered the same food for me.

We had our lunch first and some chitchats in between. Pero hindi ko muna binanggit ang tungkol sa pakay ko until we finished our food.

"Di ba nagtatanong ka last time if I have been inlove? Do you really wanna hear my answer?"

"Oh really?" Para siyang batang natuwa sa sinabi ko.

"Its you Max." Nakatingin ako sa kaniyang mga mata pero tumawa lamang siya.

"Wag ako Brix. Come on. Spill it Brix. Sino nga kasi?" Aniyang nakatawa pa rin.

"Max I'd like to be honest with you but please promise me that you won't get mad at me after this."

"Sure thing Brix. I'll keep it as our little secret." Aniya pa sabay taas ng kaniyang right hand na animo'y nanunumpa.

"I don't know exactly when, where or how but I think I love you Max. No kidding."

Lumipas pa ang ilang sandali bago siya nakakibo. 

"I would like to think that this is just one of your jokes Brix. But I came to realize that you're not the type to crack a joke like this. But honestly, I don't know what to say Brix. I'm sorry."

"No Max. Listen to me. Look at me Max.
I said I love you but I won't force you to reciprocate my feelings for you. Hindi ko hihilingin iyon sa'yo Max."

"I'm so sorry Brix.  Nahihiya ako sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa'yo nung isang araw. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You don't have to feel sorry for me Max. Ako ang may gustong mahalin ka because you're worthy to be loved. Alam ko naman kung sino talaga ang gusto mo."

"You're really a great person Brix. You're such a great friend.  And I'm always thankful for having you as my friend. If we have met in a different circumstances, I might have fallen for you."

"I'm relieved Max. Thank you for being my friend too. I'll always be that person for you.  Wala namang magbabago pagkatapos nito di ba?"

"Yeah. Sure thing Brix."

"Thank you Max. Can I atleast have a hug from a friend?"

She opened her arms to give me a warm hug. I'm relieved. It was all what I wanted. I just wanted to be honest with myself and to be honest with Max.  Alam ko naman ang kahihinatnan ng pagtatapat ko. I knew all along that her heart still belongs to that one person she cherished the most.

Basta ako, masaya at kontento na ako kahit maging kaibigan lamang siya.