Who We Were | Book One

24. Everything Is Always Changing

It was almost midnight when Josh returned. I'd changed out of Dawn Hill's clothes and into a black vest top that had been crumpled at the bottom of my bag. My dad's jacket, which Josh had left behind, was draped over my shoulders as I sat on the steps of the van. They were all now soaked from the rain which had started to fall and I had not bothered to move from.

The note sat like a heavy weight in my back pocket that was impossible to ignore. I couldn't feel calm, only anxious as Josh got closer. Dawn Hill was supposed to be the safe haven I'd believed it to be. What I'd wanted so desperately for it to be. Everything I knew had crumbled with just a few words.

"Hey," Josh greeted with a sheepish grin when he was a few steps away.

The rain bounced off his skin in patterns and his soaked shirt clung to the creases of his body. I had hoped it was dark enough that he couldn't see my face, that he couldn't see where the raindrops merged with the tears that I'd only just got under control.

"Everything okay?" He questioned in a low voice, taking a seat beside me.

"Yeah. Everything's fine," I lied. His body was pressed against mine in the narrow doorway and I wondered if he could feel the words in my pocket as heavily as I could.

"I'm pretty damn good at knife throwing, by the way..." he continued, trying to make conversation.

"That's great," I stated, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Look," he mumbled. "I think we need to talk about earlier..."

I met his gaze before dropping it to the grass. "I know I'm probably not as interesting as they are, or able to handle myself-"

"Em, that's not what it is," he interrupted.

"Just let me finish," I said, seeing him nod before I continued. "I know I can't handle myself like they can. I can't do the things they can. Hell, I can't teach you anything you don't already know... I'm grateful you brought me here. I know my parents would be happy that I'm not out there anymore, but I want you to promise me you'll be careful around these people. I think you were right before."

He was silent for a moment as he considered my words, making sure I didn't have anything else to say before he spoke. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel like that... You're not some pet and you don't have to know survival skills to be interesting." He took a breath, looking out to the camp as his fingers twitched against his knees. "Being here is a whole new experience... It's different to where I was before."

The pure black of the night was my comfort. Where Josh had distanced himself from me, the darkness was a blanket around my shoulders until dawn came.

"I'm sorry I said you were overreacting," he continued, "everyone's just been nice to me here, so I can't think of any reason that Liz would want to kill you." Even with dark shadows cast across his face, I could see his lips twitch.

The corner of my mouth mirrored his, and I looked over to him. "Both dickheads?"

He nodded, a laugh escaping his mouth. "Both dickheads," he agreed into the rain.

The droplets danced to the grass, falling from a sky of dark velvet scattered with stormy clouds. Although I was almost drenched, I felt at peace as the gentle showers spread over us.

"How come you were out late anyway?" I asked. "I thought the guards were supposed to shoot on sight when it's dark?"

"How did you know that?" He scowled. I shrugged in response and he shook his head, pulling a small reflective patch from his pocket. "Not when you've got one of these," he added, waving the patch in front of me.