Recklessly (Lumity)

Chapter Twenty-Four - Love

Luz's P.O.V

I rush down the halls, trying to get to my locker before I'm late for class. Amity has invaded my thoughts and I can't help but feel this strange feeling in my stomach whenever she's around. I hate it yet love it, like it's something I can't quite explain. Whenever I think or see her I feel this electricity shoot through me and almost as if my stomach is twisting and turning. It's not uncomfortable though, it feels strange but not bad.

I don't know what was happening to me but it was driving me crazy and I wanted so badly to just ask someone. Who would I ask and how would I even ask them? Just walk up to someone and ask if they know this strange feeling trapped in my stomach when Amity speaks to me or even pops into my head. Could it be...no, it can't be that, I don't know what that feels like though so how would I know?

"Willow! I need to ask you something and don't be afraid to just push me away when I ask." My sentence came out so fast that I didn't think she would catch it but she did.

"Go ahead and ask me Luz." She laughed at my frantic state. My hands were fiddling with my hair like some crazy person. I stopped my frantic movements and did my best to focus on my question.

"Okay...do you possibly know what this feeling is? I get this almost like, lightning shooting through my veins and then my stomach feels like it's on fire but in a good way!" Willow chuckled, almost as if she knew exactly what I was feeling.

"Who do you feel that around?" I rubbed the back of my neck nervously, what was she going to tell me? Was this feeling bad or good? I couldn't stop myself from freaking out as time passed by.

"Whenever I think about or even see Amity, this feeling overtakes me." A smile erupted on Willow's face, she did know what this was! My hands flew to her shoulders and I bent down a bit to look her right in the eyes.

"Please help me! I don't know what this is!" She just giggled and brushed my hands off her shoulder. She walked forward in the lunch line before giving me a straight answer to my desperate question.

"What you feel is love, Luz. You love Amity whether you believe it or not." Time stopped, my heart stopped, as the truth settled in. That wasn't possible. Me, in love with Amity? Could that really be it?

"No, that can't be it. I don't love her, she's just a best friend of mine." Willow sighed, showing me that I was being difficult and I knew I was. I was only being difficult because I knew the truth, I didn't love her.

"Tell me Luz, how long did you have a crush on her? How long did you keep hoping for her to just talk to you one day and heal your friendship?" I remember telling her about my crush earlier this week actually. That was just a crush though, I didn't love her like that. I just had a weird bisexual crush on her, that's normal, right?

"For four years, I had a stupid crush on her for four years. I waited for her to talk to me for three years, and I don't know why I waited so long but it wasn't because I love her, I can tell you that." I grabbed a tray as the line continued and soon I was sitting down at a table. Willow continued our discussion as she set her tray down.

"Love isn't something easy to admit but like it or not, that's what you're feeling." I wanted to deny it, say something back that would change her mind but there was nothing to say. She was right, wasn't she? I do love her and that's why it hurt so bad when she left me, or when she hurt me. That's why I felt scared when she kissed me, because I was afraid of my own feelings.

"Oh, look, the loser is talking about Amity again, aren't ya?" Great, now Andrea is going to bug me. Can't she just move along and let me think about these new feelings I have?