18 | noah

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I can't believe I'm admitting it, but working at my father's repair shop has become something I find myself looking forward to

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I can't believe I'm admitting it, but working at my father's repair shop has become something I find myself looking forward to.

Not because it's owned by my father, as having my father around all the time is definitely a con. I don't really look forward to the actual working part, either—at least, not when I'm working on a customer's vehicle.

The only reason I look forward to working at the shop is because I get to try to fix up my grandfather's old Ford. I often spend hours working overtime, tinkering on the Ford well into the night. I usually end up spending the days I have off at the shop as well, too. I've been so preoccupied working on the truck, I can't remember the last time I smoked a joint or downed a beer.

If Mom were here, she'd be proud. Not necessarily because I've had the attitude adjustment she's been hoping I'll have, but because she couldn't stand the drugs and alcohol I'd constantly been pouring into my system.

But Mom isn't here. The thought instantly darkens my mood.

As my mood begins to descend, I find myself unintentionally thinking of Blake. A warmth like I've never felt before begins spreading through my chest at the thought of her. Her vision filling my mind has me thinking of how stupid I'd been at school this morning with the way I had spoken to her, wondering why I'd said what I did and why I don't regret it.

I don't know what it is about Blake Rhodes, but I'm unable to deny that there is something about her that makes me stick around when I notice her approaching, makes me genuinely enjoy talking to her, has me wanting to tear down my walls and let her in. There's something about the light that seems to always follow her around that's addicting to me.

The more I tell myself I don't want to think of her, the more I think of her anyway. When I tell myself to walk away when she approaches me, the longer I end up lingering. The more distance I know I should put between myself and Blake only has me wanting to get closer. Though I know I could ruin her, I find myself wanting to risk it just to see if maybe she can save me.

Blake Rhodes makes me feel things I never thought I'd feel again. I wish I knew how she did it.

Maybe then I could make it stop.

"Noah."

The sound of my name being spoken startles me, as I'd been lost in thought. I turn to find my father standing a few feet away. He looks tired, the exhaustion etched into his features only serving to remind me that it's getting late and I have an exuberant amount of homework in my backpack that I should probably do but most likely won't get around to.

"You shouldn't spend so much time on that thing," Dad says, gesturing to the Ford. "I don't want you to overwork yourself."

"I think I can handle it," I snap, turning my back on him.

My father sighs. "How long are we going to do this, Noah?" he questions. "How long are you going to keep pushing me away?"

Deciding I've had enough of this place and my father's questions, I grab my things before shoving past him as I retort, "Until it sticks."

____

a/n: someone tell my girlfriend i miss her so fucking much.

a/n: someone tell my girlfriend i miss her so fucking much

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