Ready For Your Love [COMPLETED]

✯Chapter 17✯

So... Tina was right after all. Levi wasn't the type to pretend something like that if he wasn't serious about the person. Hold on, he was serious about me? He actually liked me? Why was this so hard to accept? A man as attractive and mysterious as Levi... how could he fall for someone like me?

"You don't have to give me a reply right now," he said, "But... please just think about it."

I nodded. "I will," I told him determined.

As soon as he stepped back and walked away, the cold breeze of the night hit me. It forced me to accept that he wasn't with me anymore, that life went on normally now. I didn't like this.

We drove back home in silence. It gave me some time to think. I could understand why Levi was so hesitant about telling me this. I forgot that signing the papers didn't mean that I was going to be automatically divorced from Colt. It would take months for the divorce to be finalized, sometimes up to six months. Although I had the right, so to speak, to 'move on' to someone new because of the pain and sadness that Colt inflicted on me, would it be wrong to do so? Wouldn't I be moving on too quickly?

I was just starting to get used to a life without Colt. Levi was always there for me, every step of the way. He went beyond his job and took me in at his house, probably to protect me from Colt's possessive behavior. Someone who didn't like strangers entering his house, someone who didn't have any friends... He allowed me to stay with him.

He liked me, and I liked him back. It sounded too good to be true. And yet, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be with him, but I was afraid. I was afraid of getting involved with someone too quickly. I was afraid of getting into another serious commitment that would end up breaking me beyond repair. I trusted Levi, but I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. I liked him. I wanted to get to know him more. I wanted to spend more time with him. Having him close to me made everything alright. But I wanted to be sure I was ready before I moved on.

I was in a daze all morning long on Monday. My mind was constantly trailing back to yesterday. I didn't see Levi that morning before I went off to work, and I didn't go check up on him either like last time. If I wanted time to think things over, I had to put a distance between us temporarily.

Coraline returned to school that day. She said she came back just to ask me about the date. I imagined that I must have been blushing like crazy, because it caused Coraline to squeal like a baby seal. Tina, on the other hand, just smiled. I felt so uncomfortable talking about Levi in front of her, but Coraline forced me to.

"This is the cutest thing I've ever heard of," Coraline exclaimed, "You told him you liked him, right?"

I shook my head. Both Coraline and Tina looked surprised at this.

"I want to think things through before I jump into another relationship," I told them, "Of course I like Levi, but won't I be moving on too quickly?"

Coraline shrugged, but she didn't know what to say. Tina spoke up.

"Maybe," Tina said, "But it's good that you decided to consider this before saying yes."

"Yup, you're very smart, Scarlett," Coraline agreed, "If it were me, I wouldn't have hesitated to say yes."

I laughed. Coraline and her crush on Levi was never going to go away, was it?

"But seriously, what are you so afraid of?" Tina asked me.

I rested my head in the palm of hand and gazed off. "I'm afraid of a few things. Like getting hurt again. Or being considered a cheater."

"Wait, why would you be considered a cheater?" Coraline laughed. "You can't cheat on a cheater when you're in the process of getting a divorce."

"That's the thing," I said, "I'm in the process of getting a divorce. I'm not divorced yet."

"That's ridiculous," she argued.

"I see what she means though," Tina said, "I've never been married before, so I don't have the same experience as you two do. But I can see why she's being careful about it. Scarlett despises cheating. She wouldn't want to be caught being with Levi if she's still not officially divorced yet. But Scar, there's a small issue with your reasoning there. Colt already knows you're with Levi, even if it was supposed to be just acting. He's already seen you two together."

"Exactly," Coraline said, "So there's no need to hide anything. If people who know you and Colt start talking, then so be it. People are always going to find an excuse to talk behind someone's back. You should do what you want to do."

I sighed. "Okay, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm scared of getting hurt again."

"Then you should tell him that," Tina suggested, "He might know what to do."

"Hmm... You're right."

She was right, but just like I didn't want to get hurt again, I didn't want to hurt Levi either. What if I ended up hurting him by saying that?

I could see now why Levi didn't want to answer my question too quickly; I was doing the same to him. He didn't ask me for my reply, but instead he tried acting like everything was back to normal. He was terrible at it, and so was I.

We couldn't act as if nothing ever happened. Something did happen, and it was big. We knew we couldn't ignore it. And yet, here I was, trying to put off telling him what I was thinking about.

Days went by. Eventually I started seeing less and less of Levi. He was staying cooped up in his room. Every time I brought him food, I would find him typing away furiously on his laptop. He seemed to have immersed himself in his work. Was it to avoid being with me? Was this his way of distancing himself from me?

Coraline and Tina kept pressuring me to give him a reply, at least to tell him to wait or something. But I just couldn't. It wasn't like the day Colt and I got together. I didn't want to mess this up. I forgot how nerve-wracking this whole confession thing could be. I felt like I was sixteen years old all over again.

But I wasn't sixteen. I was old enough now to make long-lasting decisions. I wasn't looking for a relationship that would last just a few months. I wanted something I could be certain about. Would Levi be the one for me?