Dear Dumb Diary

January

January 1st, 2012,

Dear Dumb Diary,

My mom is making me write in you. I hate writing and I hate diaries. Why do people write their private, personal, thoughts in these things anyways. Hasn't anyone heard of Harriet the Spy? Only bad things come out of keeping a diary. I'm only writing in you cause my mom says that I have anger issues and need to get them out. If you ask me she has mental issues for thinking that a diary will help me.

Why am I so angry you ask? As if I would actually tell you. All I can say is that I hate Christmas, I hate the color green and most especially the color red. However I can tell you how I look. I have pink eyes and purple hair. My eyebrows are blue and I have a huge beak for a mouth and a tiny nose. What? You think that I am lying? Well, how would you know? You are after all just a dumb diary.

January 2nd, 2012,

Dear Dumb Diary,

My <om is making me write in you again. Have I mentioned how much I dislike you? My Dad said that he would give me two dollars every day that I write in you so I guess i will be writing every day. But just know that if it wasn't for you I could be on my swing set right now or I could be playing pirates with my best friend Brooke.

My Mom and Dad want me to talk about what happened but I can't. And even if I did it wouldn't stop the nightmares. Oops I said too much already. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! I hate everything except Brooke of course.

January 3rd 2012,

Dear Dumb Diary,

I am really mad today. I was at school, sitting like an angel like always at my desk. I was drawing in my notebook when some fat kid named Jon came up to my desk with a tiny green ball of sticky tape. He stuck it under my desk at the very edge and sat down a few seats away. the classroom was empty except for us two. As soon as my classmates entered he pointed at the green ball of sticky tape and claimed that I was picking my boogers and had stuck it under my desk. Everybody laughed at me so I got mad and bit him. Nobody believed me that it was tape so now they call me snots. My teacher talked to my mom and my mom explained my anger issues. As part of my punishment I have to tell him that I am sorry. He started it and did I say that I hate my life today? Cause I do.

January 4th, 2012,

Dear Dumb Diary,

I told Jon that I was sorry today and now he thinks that he owns me. He tried to make me carry all of his books to class and when I said no he acted like I bit him. Luckily there was a teacher that saw what had happened so this time he had to say sorry to me. I own him now. Life is pretty sweet today.

January 5th, 2012,

Dear Dumb Diary

Today I got back at Jon. As he walked out of the restroom I squirted the front of his pants with my water bottle. I ran away and a few seconds later I heard giggles. A few girls had walked out of the girls restroom to see him standing there with his pants wet. Our Teacher sent him home to change his pants and asked his Mom if she could leave a pair of pants at the school just in case it happens again. When he came back he kept his head down for the rest of class. I pretty much own him now.