Dear Dumb Diary

Untitled Part 3

January 12th, 2012,

Yesterday was horrible. I had to go to the hospital and stayed all night. I'm at my moms again. It started when my Daddy was called into work. He told me that there was food in the fridge. I opened it and saw the pb&j sandwich that my Dad had made me. It was my sisters favorite too. I couldn't handle it. I felt like I was suffocating and everything was spinning and then nothing until I woke up. It's my fault that she isn't here anymore. I gotta go. I am feeling too sad and tired to write anymore.

January 13th, 2012,

My Mom let my best friend Brooke come over today! I think she felt bad about what happened. Brooke knows what happened and she told me that it wasn't my fault but how can it not be? I could've done something to make her feel better but I chose not to and she won't ever be able to come back because of it. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it and we played pirates. I was of course the evil Captain like usual. I have a pirate hat, cape, mustache (fake of course) and an eye patch. We played until my Mom yelled that it was getting late and that Brooke should walk home. My Mom looked out of the kitchen window until she saw Brooke walk into her house and close the door.

January 14, 2012,

I had to go to work with my Mom today. It was sooo boring! All she does is answer phones and transfer calls to her boss. I don't know how she can stand it. I just sat and colored. I remember when my sister was here that we would walk to Mcdonalds and just stay there. She would order an iced coffee and just sit there checking her FB or chatting with her friends and giggling over boys (gross. It made me gag.)m and makeup. It's surprising the things that you learn when people don't think that you are listening. I found out that she had a boyfriend and had her first kiss four months ago. I wanted to be just like her but now I don't know what I want anymore. Does suicide run in the family?

January 15. 2012,

My Mom's co-worker told me that I look just like my sister. We both had curly brown hair that almost touches our butts. We were growing it out together. We also have tan skin and green eyes. When her co-worker said that my mom looked at me and quickly looked away with tears in her eyes. She looked like she was about to have a meltdown so I kicked her co-worker in the foot and she started to hop around whimpering in pain. I am in big trouble again. I just didn't want my Mom to be sad again especially since it was my fault.

January 16, 2012

I cut my hair today with my plastic scissors. It was really hard but I had to do it. I am afraid for my Mom to look at it so I am going to wear a hat today. I wish I could change my eye color too. Maybe to a deep chocolate brown color. Nobody in my family has brown eyes so that would be nice.

My mom saw my hair after school today. Let's just say that she used a lot of words that I can't write or say. She said that she is taking me to get my hair looked at tomorrow by her hair cutter lady.