blazing blues ( hunterxhunter kurapika x oc)

#38 EMPTINESS & HAPPINESS

SYN POV

I dont know how long i was here.  I cant make my eyes  look in another things or direction. I stared in her lifeless body. I feel sadness and hate. I hate myself because i leave her in past. I leave her to save myself.

"I'm a  selfish person." i whisper to myself.  Its all my fault. I start to laugh. " I'm very terrible person." l lower my gaze to the floor and push myself to stand up. I walk to her closer. each step i will make it felt like all my strength slowly disappearing. I froze in my spot when im one step closer to her.
Again for the second time i fall to my knees.

" Its all my fault. If only i didn't left you that time.  If only i didn't." i try to reach her again. I manage to touch her in the head.
But once i touch her, pain is like an electricity  flow in my soul.  I cant touch her no matter i try. I stand up and slowly walk to the edge of rooftop. I can see the clear view of wrecked city from here. The city is ruined just like my heart. I chuckled when i realized their similarities.
I take another step. One step and i will die. One step and i will go next to her. But the question is she going to let me? She hate me so much. And so do i, To myself.

" Syn no!! " i felt someone hug me from behind. " Please don't do it. "  the hug become tighter as if he doesn't want to let me go.

"Why are you stopping me?  Cant you see it. Its all my fault." i said and lower my gaze.
" Just let me go. "

" I wont,  Not until you stop hurting me." what is he talking about?
" Seeing you like this hurt me.  Please stop."
I heard his vioce. Sadness was visible in their.  "  i know what you can feel. But  death is not the way to cure Pain. It will only going to end it but it will not going to cure it."

I slapped back to reality. Kurapika is right. Death wont going to cure pain. It will only going to end it.  I take a deep breath.
"I-Im sorry. " i said. " Im sorry if i made you worried."  he let go of me and make me face him.   I saw his eyes, its wet because of tears.

"  Im happy that you are back to normal again." He smile to me. " Please,  Dont do this again. " he pulled me in a tight hug. 
Did i make him cry? 

" Im sorry. " thats all i can manage to say.

" Its alright. Your are now Ok. So its alright." i will no longer going to deny this. I feel comfortable and safe from his hug.

" What happend to the boss?" i said trying to change the topic.

" They are in the hospital now.  And i well going to give to them the item i got in the  auction. " he said and let go of me.

" There is an auction? " i ask shock.

" Yes,  You didn't notice it because you are overwhelmed by your sadness. " i look away,  remembering that scene. I felt my face turn red. When i remember what happend a moment ago.

"Y-yeah,  You are right."  i said while avoiding his gaze. I walk away from him to leave.  But i was stop from spot when i saw her again. I sign and take the dark purple cloak and use it to cover her body.  I cant take her with me.  After all she is a spider mafia wont gonna let me take her.

" Lets leave now.  I think melody and the otners need our help." i didn't notice that kurapika was already beside me.

"yeah, your are right." we start to walk away. I look to her for the last time.
" I hope we can see each other again, Sister."

---------------Time Skip------------

Its been days scene she leave. I'm not really sad because kurapika comforting me. But i guess im really a selfish person.   All this time all i do is to think my sadness.  I never think his feeling even once. But right now,
I can notice it. All the force smile he flastarted in his lips when im in front of him.  I don't want to see him like that. He have done a lot for me. Maybe this time i will do something for him.

" Good morning  kurapika." i greet him as i walk in the living room with others.

" Hello Syn." he said and smile. Those force smile again.

"  What is the job today? " i ask melody sitting next to kurapika.

" Nothing, we just need to guard boss neon." i smile hearing those word. I walk over to kurapika and take his hand.

" Come with me,  i want to say something." i didn't wait his reaction. I pulled him and we walk near the glass window.  He look to me confuse.

" Are you not sad or angry because the spider is now gone?  You didn't  manage to kill them right. " i ask straight to the point. He look away.

" Even I'm  angry or not. I cant do anything now. They are gone. "  his vioce have a tone of sadness that he is trying to hide.

" I see,  Then stop it. " i look to  him in the eye. " Stop forcing yourself to smile for me. Stop forcing yourself  to act normal if your not."

"What are you talking about?" he ask like he doesn't know what im talking to.

" When im sad,  you stay here in my side to comfort me. You have done enough for me. This time let me return the favor. " i said and smile. " you are sad and i know that. You cant hide it. My abilities is about emotions. So i know what you can truly feel.  How about we go out tomorrow. I'm not accepting the answer No.  So its a yes from you. " kurapika look to me in shock. But i only give him a thumbs up before walking away. 

Midnight come and i send a message where is the meeting place tomorrow.  After it, i call someone. I miss them so much.

---------------Time Skip----------

I was in the park. Waiting for kurapika's arrival. I buy a food to cheer him. But this guys doesn't care what is the purpose of those food.

"  Hey guys, don't eat the food we need that to cheer him up. " i said to them.

" we don't care. Im hungry." i glared at him.

" Stop being selfish killua! "  he laugh. gon sit next to him and start to eat.

" Yeah,  let just buy another to him again." i sign at them.  They didn't change for all this month. Still the same and typical gon and killua. and leorio who love his career so much that even here he is studying.

"kurapika! " I heard Gon shout. I look from behind and see him standing not so far away. I face him and smile.

" Sorry its not the date you expect. I just think that its more happy if they are here."
I said.

" Y-yeah.  Im happy to see them too. "  Gon run close to kurapika.

" You should be happy now. Because the spiders are already Gone.  The only thing you need to do is to bring your brethren eye. " Gon said in cheerful tone.  He was about to say something again when killua slap a pie in his face.  Gon try to do the same to killua but didn't succeed. I take a pie.

" Someone  need to give us his attention." i said and walk closer to leorio.

" Leorio,  I like you as a friend very much." i said and take the book away from him. But before i could slap the pie in his face he stand  and take it away from me.

" I know what are you trying to do."  He rise the pie as if he is trying to hit me with it. I run away. Those pie are sweet and very sticky. " Hey don't  run away comeback here. " he chase me.  I run close to kurapika to hide from his back but i twisted my ankle and fall. Kurapika try to catch me. The Pie that was about to hit me was hit him in the head. The surrounded turn slince after that.

" Im sorry. " i said. But all of sudden kurapika start to laugh.  And put his head in my shoulder.

" Thank you." he whispered before standing up and face leorio.

" I'm sorry its only an accident." leorio try to defend him self but Killua slap a pie in his face.

" no more sorry coming from you. Le orio."