blazing blues ( hunterxhunter kurapika x oc)

#24 EMOTIONS

SYN POV

" The one that killed them, its the.................Spiders"

My heart, i think its stop for a moment.
hearing those word from my master.
I touch my chest. I can't breathe.
I feel, angry, sandness, shock and happiness. Maybe because i already know what happend to my past.
Maybe because i already know
Who killed my family. By why, why my tears are falling.
All in all, i feel...........pain.
I cant help myself but to cry.
I was expecting this.
Because all the clues are in those scenarios.
But Why, I'm still crying? I thought I'm brave enough to know my past.
I don't like to cry, i hate to cry.
But right know all the thing that i want to do is to cry.

My master hug me. " Its alright Syn. " i heard him say it.

" Its not alright, its hurt. " i whisper. My eyes became blurred because of too much tears.
I wipe it away. I deserve it. I wanted to know my past. Even i know that it will be hurt. I think all the emotions that i forgot along with my memories comeback.
They all comeback in the snap of an eye.

-------------Time Skip---------------

I woke up in my room. I had a dream. The worse dream i ever had. I cover my face using my hand. I don't want to remember it anymore. But it keep coming again and again. Inside my head.

****************

We are standing at the seaside. The beautiful sunset was reflecting in the water.
I also can see my five year old reflection.
" Listen my daughters, i cant stay beside you forever. So don't leave each other ok. "

" i wont gonna leave my sister."

" Of course, because if you leave me behind sister. I will gonna hate you forever."

------------------

"Sister help me!!" i look back. I saw her.
My twin sister. She was stock in the threads. Theirs a shadow of someone behind her. The shadow walk closer.
Then he turn around. I saw the tattoo. Its a spider.

My feet start to step back. I start to run away. I can still hear the vioce of my twin sister calling me.

She is calling me............ " Syn.....Dont leave me!! "

*******************

I laugh at myself. I survive because i..........leave my sister behind. The reason she die is because of me. I look at the window. I can see another beautiful day.
I don't want to cry anymore. I wipe the tears that is streaming down to my eyes.
Only a weak person will cry.
I will not gonna cry anymore.
I hug my leg and lower my head. And i let the darkness envelope me.
If i have a chance to forget something again.
I want to forget how to cry.

---------Time Skip-------

I open my eyes. Its already night. I look in the window. I can see the moon shining so bright. I stand up and walk over the mirror.
I try to smile. And i succed. But all of sudden i remember those dream again. The sadness start to cover me. But something didn't change. My light blue eyes. Its still the same. They are not wet because of tears.
I touch my face. Their is no tears streaming down.

I im not crying.

The next day. I was walking outside. Im looking for someone. And finally after a long minute of walking i found him.
I walk closer to him. He face me. Maybe because he already notice my presence.

" Hey master, Can you teach me how to become stronger."