Senpai [Michaeng]

Ch 20

[Chaeyoung's POV]

The day just went as usual. Switching some TV channels to taking 3-4 naps.

It was already evening. I didn't have anything to do so I decided to help my mom today.

I went to the kitchen where she had already started making food.

"Eomma." I called loud enough for her to hear.

She hummed as a respond.

"Do you need help?" I said as I went near.

"What happened today? Why all of a sudden?" she said as she giggled.

"Ya.. I just wanted to help.. " I said

"Okay since you're here, can you cut the vegetables please? For the salad."

I started doing as she said.

My parents aren't always bad. It's just my mind who makes me think that way.

The things they say, it maybe harsh but  they want the best for us.  They're parents after all.

Meanwhile, my dad also entered the kitchen.

"What's for dinner?" he asked curiously.

"Cabbages." I replied seriously.

"Ahaha. Don't scare your father like that Chaeyoung. " my mother laughed.

We talked.

Seeing my family like this, happy, makes me feel so good.

I felt a pang in my chest. How I wish it was always like this.

After the dinner was ready, my mom called my brother.

He joined us without delay. As he got they smell of the food, his face lit up.

How nice.

After the dinner, I did the dishes.

Today was really a good day.

But something isn't right.

[Mina's POV]

I spend my day watching dramas. Plus, unconsciously acting the scenes in my head as Chaeyoung and I.

That part came in my mind again and again.

But.. Why did she stop all of a sudden?

Should I talk to her about it?

But we were both drunk. Did she even mean it?

But the way she's behaves with me.. No no she's friendly with the others too.

Am i being too delusional?

I guess I should just wait for her to bring up this topic.
.
.
.
But what if she's waiting for me to say it first too.

Shit.

Should I text her?

But it feels strange now. What if she thinks of me as a creep?

What am I thinking? We're good friends.

But she was cool with me in the morning.

Let's stop over thinking.

Let's get this straight.

I went to her contact. I breathed out and called her.

.
.
.
The number you're trying to call is speaking to someone else. Please try again later.

.
.
Oh.. Ok let's wait.
But who is she talking to?

Did she start dating someone?

I mean. There are also lots people who wants to be with her.

Maybe. Will she tell me about it? I mean we're close now right?

This thoughts are making me sad.

But I don't have any right to feel this way.

We're not even a thing. But it makes me so.. jealous.

[Chaeyoung's POV]

I went back to my room. Something isn't right.

I let out a heavy sigh. I just sat on my bed and drifted my thoughts and started over thinking.

I'm supposed to be happy right?

It was a good day. I don't have any reasons to feel this way.

Why is it happening? Why does it happen everyday?

What is wrong with my life?

I need to cheer up. But I.. Can't.

Why?!

I desperately want to get rid of this. But I can't find a way.

It feels like the whole world is against me. Like they don't want me.

I can't tell anyone. I want to. I desperately need help. But I don't think anybody will help me.

The fear of criticism. I'm afraid to be called an attention seeker.

That's the reason why i can't open up to anyone.

I just can't. No matter how much I trust them. Neither my friends nor my family.

Nobody knows that I'm struggling. I don't think I can do this alone.

Every single second, I feel like there's a war inside my head. I can't stop it. It's just so disturbing.

And here in my heart... It feels so empty.

But. I need to live. I have to stay alive.

Bzzz... Bzzz

As I was deep into thinking, my phone rang. I usually keep it on silent. So it was just the vibration.

I checked my phone and it was from an unknown number.

I was hesitant to pick it up. Because I don't like talking to strangers. Maybe it is something important so I'll just answer it.
.
.
.
.
Neither of I spoke for the first three seconds.

"Hello?"

It was a girl. This voice somehow sounds familiar.

"Chaeyoung?" she spoke again.

By the way she called me, I now knew who she was.
.
.
.