Senpai [Michaeng]

Ch 8

This chapter includes contents such as mental illness, self harm and suicidal thoughts etc. If you're sensitive to these, I'd suggest you to scroll down.

[Author's POV]

After dismissal, they bid each other goodbyes.

As Chaeyoung reached home, she just went directly to her room.
That's what she always do.

[Chaeyoung's POV]

I reached home. I seriously don't want to talk to anyone.
Sorry mom and dad for being like this.
I never chose to become this type of person.

I went directly to my room and locked the door.
I don't know how I feel anymore.
I'm such a disappointment.
What's the point of being alive?

[Author's POV]

Nasty thoughts occupied her mind. She tried her best to control her tears but couldn't.
She went and opened her drawer and searched for the blade.

She sat on the floor leaning on the bed. Her hands were shaking as she was about to make some cuts.

She knew what she was doing but couldn't help it.
She stared at the scars she made previously.
Tears rolling down her face, she just made a light cut to prevent serious injuries.

Of course she was bleeding a little.
But the pain she was going through mentally, was nothing compared to this physical pain.

After some time, she showered and went down to the kitchen to have her dinner.

Obviously wearing a long sleeve.

As she went down there was her family waiting for her for dinner.

She went and sat. Not bothering to talk with any of them.

"What's the thing with you this days?" her mother inquired.

Chaeyoung paused for a while. Then responding 'What do you mean? '

"You are being too distant lately. Just because you're growing up doesn't mean we're not your parents." her mother coldly added

"Are you the best in your studies? Do you do any anything to support this family? Did you do anything to make us proud? Don't forget that you're still a kid for us. Don't show this kind of attitude."

[Chaeyoung's POV]

These words were enough to make my existing mental problems worse.
I could see everything blurry as tears were building up again.

I finished my food and after doing the dishes, I went back to my room.

Where I burst out crying.

The only question I had was "Why?!"

I felt as if my chest would cave in. I want to end this.

But.. I just can't.

[Author's POV]

The next morning, Chaeyoung woke up and got ready for school.

Her eyes were kinda swollen from crying the whole night.

She met Dahyun and Tzuyu on the way.

"What's up with those eyes Chaeng?" Tzuyu asked as she noticed.

'O-oh this? Haha maybe it's because I watched k-dramas till late night.

"yahh you need to get proper sleep paboyah. If you don't want bags under your eyes. " Dahyun said

'Ok ok don't worry it's just about last night.' Chaeyoung replied with a relief that they actually believed her.

After some classes, it was time for them to practice again.

It was gonna be their last rehearsal as they were gonna perform it the next day.

Everything went out fine and they were happy.

[Chaeyoung's POV]

After the practice, Nayeon unnie came to me and said "Hey Chaeyoung! We're planning to hangout at Jihyo's place the next day after our drama.
I invited Dahyun and Tzuyu too. Would you like to come?"

'If those two are coming then I'll come too' I replied
"Okay Great" Nayeon replied as she went back to Jihyo and Mina.

'What if it was Mina unnie who invited me?' I thought to myself.

Then unknowingly acting out all the facial expressions which no one saw luckily.