Taylor didn't show up for practice at all that week. Or the week after, which was starting to become a problem for the entire band. He would sit in his music room, start playing his guitar, then sit in silence for hours, trying not to cry.
"Seriously, what happened with you two?" Zac asked, pretty inconsiderately. Hayley didn't want to think about it, not in the slightest. She wanted to just sing all her emotions out, but she relied on Taylor so much. Him to show up to practice, to write music, although she did do that too, for him to just be there for her, and now he wasn't here. What was she supposed to do?
"We broke up," she didn't think before letting the words escape her throat. Words that she had dreaded to say, to admit to herself. The room fell into silence.
"What? Why? You two were so happy together!" Hayley wouldn't look at him. None of it felt real to her.
"Yeah, well, I guess not," this took Zac by surprise. He wasn't sure what she meant by this.
"Did he end things?" He felt this was an obvious question. He was just so confused. He didn't understand why everything has just fallen into the gutter for them. Hayley gave him a small nod.
"But if he ever does show up, don't bring it up. He's not feeling too good either and I don't want things to be awkward," Hayley wiped her tears and walked to her notebook. The page seemed so empty, considering thousands of words were shooting through her head all at the same time.
Zac knew how much Taylor loved his guitar, and he immediately wanted to know what Hayley meant by 'he's not doing too good either' because Taylor never let his guard down. Not even for Hayley. He never wanted to show anyone his emotions, so he must've been feeling really horrible for him to express it. Zac wanted to make things better, but he didn't know how. He brainstormed things Taylor loved, and every time it just came back to his guitar, which sparked an idea.
"Why don't we go to Taylor's and play?" He suggested. He expected Hayley to shoot down the idea the moment the words left his mouth, but she didn't react.
"Or we don't have to play, we could just go over with some pizza?" Joey smiled at the idea. He had originally wanted the whole band to be here just in case Taylor did show up, but they were beginning to give up hope. They couldn't practice without Taylor, so they would just sit around either playing songs with no lead guitar, or just waiting. It was only Joey, Zac and Hayley today. Hayley just wished everything were normal. She wished Taylor would come, she wished the guys had more faith in him.
"Sounds good, I could really do with some pizza," Joey laughed, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work. They started gathering their things, but Hayley sat still.
"You coming, Hayles?" She shook her head.
"I don't think he wants to see me right now," she walked out of view of the door, so Zac and Joey left without another word.
When Taylor heard the doorbell ring, he didn't intend to ignore it. He just didn't want to get up, although his legs were numb from sitting on the floor for hours. It rung again, then his phone went off and he decided his head was hurting too much for all this noise. Zac's name displayed itself on the screen. He didn't answer, instead opening the door to see him. His face didn't change when he saw Zac's and Joeys bright smiles and the warm smell of pizza seep in.
"Hey T! We know you haven't been feeling great so we thought we could all just chill out, have some pizza, maybe watch a movie?" Zac made his way into the house before hearing Taylor's response.
Taylor didn't feel the need to act any different around Zac, so he simply sat on the sofa, half listening to Zac talking about his week, mostly thinking about why Hayley wasn't here. Zac could tell Taylor wasn't really paying attention. He could see much better than anyone that something was deeply wrong. Taylor would never let down his guard like this with anyone, but he didn't know how to help. He could sense that Taylor didn't really care about Zac's week, or the movie they decided to watch, or the pizza that was only just lukewarm when he finally took a slice. He fought with himself the entire night, should I ask him about Hayley? Or will that send him over the edge and end in him kicking us out?
Everything in Zac's body was urging him to properly speak to him instead of trying to pretend everything was okay, but Zac just had that feeling. He knew Taylor too well, and with that, he knew Taylor would push him away instead of talking to him while he was in this state. He was, with no doubt, correct. Taylor would've kicked him out if he even said Hayley's name because of his regret but conflicting feelings of certainty. He wanted Hayley so bad, but he was sure that he was so disgusting that there was no way Hayley truly loved him.
The three silently watched the movie, Zac and Joey deciding that their humour was not helping Taylor. Zac didn't regret coming, though. His plan now was to come over every week once to do this exact thing, with or without Joey. He just wanted Taylor to know he would not allow himself to be pushed away by Taylor's emptiness. He didn't care if they simply sat in silence while watching a movie and he definitely didn't care if Taylor didn't take any pizza or respond to any of jokes or complaints about his week, he just planned to prove his friendship was true, and that Taylor could try and push him away as much as possible, but he was not going anywhere.
When it was time to leave, Zac packed away everything they used, even washing up their glasses after they were used so Taylor didn't have to. He smiled at Taylor, even though there was no return.
"I'll see you next Friday, T,"
The two left with Taylor not saying anything, instead leaving him to wonder why either of them cared in the slightest.
