Angels and Death

chapter 30 I'LL LIGHT THE FIRE

"What the hell do you want? What are you even doing here Caspian-Is that even your real name?" I shouted at him, everything held down for so long now, bubbling up with a vengeance. He was just standing there looking like a lost puppy and it was pissing me off more, "Are you just gonna stand there with that stupid look on your face and not answer my questions?" I was fuming, adrenalin was inflating me, I couldn't help my words, they grew a mind of their own suddenly.

I'm not sure exactly how much time had passed from my out bursts but he still stood there staring at me, both he and Jace. "God damn it! Some body better start answering my questions and fast or I'm gonna start throwing things! My friend is in trouble, and soon things are going to get ugly, very ugly. Now, start talking..."

Caspian's brows furrowed and they fell in a statement of sadness, "Please allow me to explain..."

"I thought we were already on that page, I'm waiting for you to tell me what the hell is going on Cas."

His eyes fell at my old nick name for him and he took in a shaky breath. I hadn't meant to call him by my nick name for him and as soon as he was ready his eyes found mine again, "Yes, but your hostility... it is making it hard-" I cut him off I couldn't help it, "Oh really? I'll show you hostility!" at that, I turned to the table behind me and picked up a photo frame of some leaves I took last year and hummed at Caspian. I missed completely, it hit the wall to the right of him, and shattered, not before a few pieces of debris hit him in the face.

He didn't even flinch, and that made me more angry. Who did this guy think he was? I felt like I was drowning in all that was going on. I was losing control clearly, and I felt like I could do nothing to change that. What a feeling it is, to feel completely helpless, I never would wish it upon my worst enemy.

Jace had spun towards me, but seeing him now doing that, I could see he hadn't meant to-he was frightened. He had only turned on instinct, and soon, he turned back, and even backed a few steps away.

"Coward," I mumbled at Jace's action.

"Please Samantha, do not act this way. I will explain everything, but please allow me to do so." and at his soft words my angry shield cracked infinitesimally, but none the less I felt it. I swear Caspian new it too, felt it just as I had because he reacted the same way I had to the crack. But how could that be? I was so angry, but for some crazy unexplainable reason, Caspian's being here, it felt like it was right. So right, like everything was going to be ok, like the black gap I've born, has been filled, and I swear his presence manifested in the air around us, I could feel the hum of it. It made my whole body tingle.

The anger never letting up-save for the crack- I began my assault of questions again, "Caspian why are you here? And please, I need the truth." I didn't shout this time, but kept my voice an even heated tone. He inhaled deeply and began, "I am here for you, and to repair what I have damaged."

I winced in confusion, and huffed out exasperated, "Repair what you have damaged? What does that even mean? Like a lamp- I mean, what?" I was getting more and more impatient by the seconds, as well as confused. "No...you." he finished. "What? What are you even talking-what?" I was beside myself

What is someone supposed to say to something like that? I don't know what it was, but at his words my heart beat faster, and I began to feel this-this feeling deep inside me, deep inside my gut. It began to grow, and it caused me to sweat slightly, making me nervous, and more nervous as I awaited his answer.

"Samantha what I'm about to tell you is going to be hard, very hard to hear. Please, you want the truth and I'm willing to give it to you, but for that your going to have to listen alright?"

My eye brows shot up, and I meant to say something, anything but all that came out was "Mmm hmm."

Every word he said was like it was made of a string, and those strings were tethered to my stomach-no my insides, and as he spoke the word strings pulled and tugged from inside moving to their every whim.