The Christmas Party

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"Hunter, what am I doing here? I don't belong around these types of people," I whispered to my boyfriend. We'd only started dating a few months ago and I was surprised when he insisted on bringing me along to the CMT Country Christmas after party. I was surrounded by the highest names in country music: Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Nettles, Blake Shelton. I still just starting to get to know his band and tour mates, and this was a whole new level of awe and nerves. Lots and lots of nerves.

I can't do this.

He smiled down at me and gave my hand a squeeze. "Don't worry babe, I'll be by your side all night. In fact, you'll probably get sick of me and go find some new cute musician to talk to," he winked.

I rolled my eyes and gave him a sly smile. "Maybe I will!"

His face quickly changed into a panicky and worried expression. "No, no! Not really! I didn't mean it!" he stammered.

Wait, does he really care???

I laughed and reached up to kiss his blushing cheek. "You know I'm just kidding."

He smiled with relief and returned a kiss to the tip of my nose. "Good, because I will never let you go," he whispered softly.

Please mean it...

It was my turn to blush and I had barely any time to hide it before Thomas Rhett walked up to us. I prayed my red cheeks would look like makeup.

"Hey guys!" Thomas said cheerfully. His wife Lauren was on his arm, looking radiant in a shimmery red gown. She smiled at me and gasped.

Uh oh... here it comes...

"Oh my goodness! Is that Mac?!" she exclaimed and reached up to touch my cheeks. "My blush never comes out looking that pigmented! It's gorgeous!"

I glanced up at Hunter in amusement (and relief) and giggled. "Actually," I admitted, "it's just the effects of having a good boyfriend."

She and Thomas laughed warmly while Hunter reached up to fumble with his bow tie in his embarrassment.

"Well, get used to it. It doesn't stop once you get married," Lauren winked at Hunter.

He groaned and tugged lightly on my arm. "We should probably leave before she gives us any more ridiculous ideas," he joked.

Wait... what?

I smiled and waved back at Thomas and Lauren and followed Hunter into the crowd. Unfortunately, the floor was packed and full of well dressed, high class people who didn't see me from the height of their high heels and big Stetson hats. I tripped over feet and bumped into way too many people.

And Hunter's words were still ringing in my head. Ridiculous? Did he think that marrying me would be ridiculous? The thought made my heart sink at an uncontrollable rate. The blood rushed to my head and my whole body tensed up. I suddenly felt exhausted and I struggled for deep breaths.

Am I not good enough?

With all the movement and people, the music just seemed to play louder and became a nuisance to my ears.

I'll never be good enough.

Suddenly I dropped his hand and ran to the bathroom with one hand over my mouth. I heard Hunter calling my name behind me and I saw the surprise on the people's faces, but in the moment I didn't care. I flew into the women's restroom and practically fell on top of the toilet. I lay there for a minute losing my lunch. I paused and started sobbing. How could I have been so stupid as to agreeing to come here? Everyone probably thinks I'm crazy. Hunter won't want to be seen with someone like me.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Babe?" my boyfriend's voice wavered through the door. "Can I come in?"

Instinctively I did a quick glance under the other stalls to confirm there was no one else in there. I stifled my crying for a second to let him in. He slowly opened the door and knelt by me. I covered my face and groaned. "I'm sorry I ruined your night," I whispered.

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and gently pulled my hands away from my face. "Baby, you did nothing wrong. I know it had to be terrifying, and I'm sorry. I should have thought about your anxiety," he said sorrowfully.

I let out a sob as he pulled me in a hug. I cried onto his chest for five solid minutes before my tears began to run out.

"I should never have come here, Hunter," I whispered.

Shocked, Hunter pulled me back to stare at me. He held me at arms length by my shoulders. "What are you saying?"

I took a deep breath and said shakily, "You should've brought someone else here... Then you wouldn't have been embarrassed to be with me."

He gripped my shoulders tighter and I winced. "Don't say that," he said harshly. "Don't you ever say that. Don't pretend to mean it. You know you mean the world to me. I wouldn't want anyone else by my side tonight or any other night."

My lip quivered. I wrapped my arms around my boyfriend and held him tight. His hug was full of warmth and love and I never wanted to let go. After a few minutes, wiped a tear away and stood up. I smiled at him and gave him a tender kiss on his cheek. He held my hands and said, "Now, let's go debut my beautiful date again. But this time," he raised his eyebrow. "Tell me before you go running off to find  another young country star." I laughed and leaned into him.

"Never," I whispered.

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