loverboys || benjey

24

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A few hours passed and I was only slightly buzzed, although Benji was. Well to say drunk would probably be an understatement. He was very very out of it. But you trying stopping that boy when he's intoxicated and wanting to drink more, It's hard. I finally was able cut him off though, but it was a bit too late.

He currently sat at the end of my bed, laughing for god knows why. "Benji what is so fucking funny that you keep laughing every god damn second?" I sighed and put my face into my hands, this was like taking care of a baby.

"T-there's bugs! on your ceiling Jorge!" He yelled then sat up, I brought a finger to his lips.

"Shush, I'm right here, and no, there is not. Those are just the textures of my ceiling you dipshit" I smiled at him but he just looked confused. I removed my finger from his face and then he smiled back, staring right at me. "Benjamin, why are you staring at me so much?" I pushed his shoulder playfully and broke his trance.

"Because you're the prettiest person I've ever met."

Well there, I thought to myself. I never thought eight simple words could make me so breathless but they did. Benji leaned in and touched a lock of my hair, I gave in and just let him. He positioned me and made me lay my head in his lap while he played with my hair. It was cute. Very un-Benji like but also, very Benji like at the same time.

It was hard to pin-down Benji's exact personality traits because one moment he was sweet, then the next he was..well punching you in the face. I melted at Benji's touch on my scalp and hair. It felt nice, being this close to him, having him run his fingers through my hair. I never wanted it to end. "Will you spend the night? You're too drunk to go home anyways, well at least you shouldn't"

"por supuesto mi angel" (of course my angel)

I blushed at the nickname, and the use of Spanish. It was way more sexier than it should've been. "You just called me your angel Benji"

"Yes"

"You have a girlfriend"

"Yes, and"

"Why"

"You're my angel, you saved me"

I sat up abruptly and looked at him. What did he mean. Was this just rants of a drunken Benji? Or something deeper? I tried getting the answer out of him but he shut down at the topic each-time. I soon became frustrated and just gave up. I got up from my bed and headed to my record player on my dresser, putting on my Crowded House record, Don't dream it over coming on.

I was in the mood to dance.

I swayed around the room, and during the chorus I jumped on my bed, not caring that Benji was laughing his ass off at my 'sick moves'. I was having a fun time. Being free. Not caring. I was back on my floor again, spinning and dancing when I tripped and fell onto Benji. That just made him laugh more. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me fully into his lap as I huffed.

"Jorge you're a baby, stop you'll hurt yourself, just chill here with me."

I opened my mouth to argue against what he said but I didn't have anything good so I just shut up. Why did this feel so perfect? So right? I knew Benji was drunk out of his mind, yet I couldn't help but think maybe these were his sober thoughts that he hid showing through. That's what I hoped.

"Hey" I whispered quietly and looked at Benji, we were both laying next to each-other now facing the same way.

"Yes jeyjey?"

"I lied earlier," He looked confused and I wanted to laugh but I kept it in, he was so cute. "About having feelings for you? I do. I just wish I didn't sometimes"

Benji let out a content sigh and then a quiet "mm" but that was it. Well, I told him at least. He was just too out of it. I laughed and then he pulled me close to him. "Less talk, more cuddle me Jorge"

I obliged his request and we cuddled.

All I could think was, this isn't what friends do.

I knew he wouldn't remember this in the morning, but I would. Fuck.

I wish I could erase this night. All I want is to mean something to him. yet I don't.

Tears begin to form in my eyes, I pushed Benji away and then stood up, rushing to the bathroom, and locking myself inside. I slid down the locked door, sitting on the cold tile floor crying. I felt a wave of sickness and sadness wash over me as I started to cry harder. Why were things always like this.

"Jorge are you okay?" "Jorge?" "Angel please open the door"

I kept hearing him slur his words, requesting me to let him in. Eventually I guess he just gave up because it went silent. I finally had some peace.

Thank god.